Today, I finish reading the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. My boss, my colleague and my friend as well, who perused it when she was a Ph.D. student, suggested me to read it. That is an old book, first published in 1936. Anyway, almost all truth can be found in one or another old book.

Then, what is the truth in the book? That is simple. Everyone has a desire to be important, and all people are more interested in themselves than in others. That may be the weakness in human nature. Based on the facts, the book advocated a new way of life. In order to make friends and to affect others, one must make them feel important by showing honest and sincere respect, appreciation and recognition, and make them interested by focusing on their problems.

Does this approach work? I think so. However, it is easy to understand but difficult to practice. After all, those readers of the book belong to Hume being with the same weakness as others. To overcome the weakness to certain degree, one must have personal integrity. One must be insightful so that he can know what others think. One must be patient so that he can deal with others’ issue first. One must be clever so that he can detect others' real but indistinct merit.

One point should be made definite. So called "friends" in the book are friends in need, such as bosses, employees, colleagues, teachers, students, classmates, customers, clients, etc. For friends indeed beyond utility, are the principles of the book suitable? I doubt. In fact, I think at least some of them are certainly not. At any rate, honesty, respect and appreciation are crucial in all kinds of relations.

Originally post as a Customer Review on August 27, 2002 at

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/AP2YWNIWU1BN1/ref=cm_pdp_rev_title_1?ie=UTF8&sort%5Fby=MostRecentReview#R33G3IKXWZU4BI