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我与DS的诗歌翻译对比23——哈代诗:郊雪
武夷山(2008)
https://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-1557-19249.html
Snow in the Suburb
(By Thomas Hardy,1840-1928)
Every branch big with it,
Bent every twig with it;
Every fork like a white web-foot;
Every street and pavement mute:
Some flakes have lost their way, and grope back upward when
Meeting those meandering down they turn and descend again.
The palings are glued together like a wall,
And there is no waft of wind with the fleecy fall.
A sparrow enters the tree,
Whereon immediately
A snow-lump thrice his own slight size
Descends on him and showers his head and eye
And overturns him,
And near inurns him,
And lights on a nether twig, when its brush
Starts off a volley of other lodging lumps with a rush.
The steps are a blanched slope,
Up which, with feeble hope,
A black cat comes, wide-eyed and thin;
And we take him in.
郊雪
哈代
(武夷山©,1983年5月22日译,2008年3月22日修改)
雪花飘,
大树枝长胖了,
小树枝弯了腰,
树杈之间架起了白桥,
大街小巷静悄悄……
几片雪花迷失了方向,
摸摸索索往回游荡,
半道上遇着蹁跹而来的同胞,
于是结成伴儿一起飞降。
篱笆桩粘在一起成了雪墙,
没有一丝风与羊毛般的雪片携手徜徉。
倒霉的麻雀刚钻进树里
高枝上落下的雪团就给它一击,
撞碎在它的头上,
把它打翻坠地,
迷了它的眼,
压得它喘不过气。
高枝落雪低枝随,
雪团纷纷下,如弹雨。
台阶成了斜坡,白如粉,
跑上来一只瘦骨嶙峋的黑猫,双眼圆睁,
然而它一丝希望尚存——
果然,我们放它进了家门。
2026年1月23日请DeepSeek翻译此诗,答卷如下:
郊外雪景
(托马斯•哈代 作)
满枝琼瑶压欲低
纤柯玉屑垂
树杈皆作银凫蹼
街衢寂寂失声息
几片雪迷途 凌空欲转又踟蹰
却逢翩翩坠者相与舞 旋复落穹庐
篱桩凝素练 叠作白玉垣
绒绒坠处风纹敛
忽有雀儿穿树杪
顷刻枝头雪倾倒
三重雀身重 劈头覆眼落如瀑
惊得翻飞踉跄步
几欲埋幽处
终栖低枝颤颤摇
簌簌更溅琼芳簌簌
石阶皑皑成雪坂
黑猫眦目瘦骨嶙
踽踽攀援步履艰
且收檐下暂相安
博主今记:我的译文未处理 thrice his own slight size这个短语,是有意忽略还是粗心导致,我也记不清
了。更可能是粗心。
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