科研人员在掌握了初步的英文写作技巧后，基本能够写出句子结构清晰、语法正确的论文。但是，对比英文母语语言编辑修改后的文稿，有时仍然感觉英文用词欠佳或不够地道流畅。

想要解决这些问题，就必须从高级写作技巧上系统地总结问题出现的原因和纠正措施。
 

 

错误1：直接硬译中文

这类直译问题造成语句生硬、用词啰嗦，或者不符合英文表达习惯。

例句1：在中国，一些教育机构打着颠覆传统教育的标语从事线上教育。

不好：In China, some education enterprises conducted online education with a slogan of overturning traditional education.

较好：In China, some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education.

例句2：相比于设备甲，我更相信设备乙。

不好：I believe device A more than device B.

较好：I believe device A would be more effective than device B.

例句3：随着时光流逝，这些企业从市场上消失了。

不好：These enterprises faded away from the market as time went by.

较好：Over time, these enterprises faded away from the market.

例句4：从中国教育部的统计资料可以看出，截止到2016年，中小学网络覆盖率达到87%。

不好：We have seen statistics from the Ministry of Education of China showing that the Internet access rate of elementary and high schools in China had reached 87% by 2016.

较好：Statistics from the Ministry of Education of China have shown that, by 2016, the Internet access rate of elementary and high schools in China had reached 87%.

例句5：看到这些成就，我逐渐坚定了职业方向，希望能为机械工程领域做出贡献。

不好：I have observed these achievements, and I have gradually decided my directions of career development in order to make good contributions to the field of mechanical engineering.

较好：I have observed these achievements, which inspired me to direct my career development to contribute positively to the field of mechanical engineering.

例句6：由于他们片面理解“技术”概念，导致失败。

不好：They failed due to their partial understanding of the “technology” concept.

较好：They failed due to their partial understanding of the role of technology.

例句7：这些技术不论软硬都是有用的。

错误：These technologies, regardless soft or hard, are useful.

正确：These technologies, whether soft or hard, are useful.

错误2：语言啰嗦。

这类问题造成用词偏多，篇幅过长。纠正这类问题时，不仅需要把“in order to”简化为“to”，而且需要从用词结构上予以简化。学术写作应当力求简洁精炼。

不好：This experience was the motivation for me to pursue study in mechanical engineering.

较好：This experience motivated me to pursue study in mechanical engineering.

不好：This is an important stage during the growth of children.

较好：This is an important stage in children’s growth.

不好：There are powerful voices to call for changes in systems engineering.

较好：Powerful voices are calling for changes in systems engineering.

错误3：主语和宾语的语序颠倒

这类问题的原因是写法不符合英文表达习惯。

不好：Changing people’s perception of the nature of systems engineering is the key to the success of making positive changes in system science.

较好：The key to making positive changes in system science is transforming the perception of the nature of systems engineering.

错误4：对于以“Only”开头的强调式状语，未将动词反置在主语前面

这类问题涉及以“Only after”、“Only if”、“Only in this way”等开头的句子。

错误：Only by changing the work condition, it is possible for them to finish the project.

正确：Only by changing the work condition, is it possible for them to finish the project.

错误5：没有适时强调否定式

不强调否定：The performance or the durability of the engine has not been changed.

强调否定：Neither the performance nor the durability of the engine has been changed.

错误6：表达原因的写法不符合英文习惯

不好：I thought the reason was that I was not fluent in German.

较好：I thought this was because I was not fluent in German.

不好：The reason for the engineers to choose this software was that they wanted fast computation.

较好：The engineers have chosen this software because they wanted fast computation.

错误7：没有前置状语短语

经常提倡的所谓状语后置原则是为了突出主语。但是，在安排状语短语的位置时，不应当牺牲修饰关系清晰性、语意连续性、特意强调性。

修饰关系清晰性不好：Some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education in China.

修饰关系清晰性较好：In China, some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education.

语意连续性不好：I received support from my parents when I was young in learning math.

语意连续性较好：When I was young, my parents supported me in learning math.

特意强调性不好：I studied in Shanghai in mechanical engineering during my four years of undergraduate study.

特意强调性较好：During my four years of undergraduate study, I studied in Shanghai in mechanical engineering.

错误8：未将带有“with”和动名词的状语短语变成动词从句，不符合英文表达习惯

不好：His effort will be rewarded with his careful plan and persistent pursuing.

较好：His effort will be rewarded as he pursues his careful plan with persistence.

错误9：在表达使用措施的“with”、“by”、“using”之间有混淆

不好：The gas temperature was measured with the thermocouple.

较好：The gas temperature was measured using the thermocouple.

不好：The oxygen concentration was measured by using an oxygen sensor.

较好：The oxygen concentration was measured using an oxygen sensor.

错误10：忽略必须使用的从句及其时态

错误：I found that there were numerous tools originated from modern technology.

正确：I found that there were numerous tools that had originated from modern technology.

不好：There are great differences between the children receiving quality-oriented education and the children receiving exam-oriented education.

较好：There are great differences between children who receive quality-oriented education and those who receive exam-oriented education.

错误11：误用被动语态，不符合英文表达习惯

不好：Some technologies are easy to be mastered and implemented by these companies.

较好：Some technologies are easy for these companies to master and implement.

错误12：介词多余

错误：The analysis focus was on passing inspection.

正确：The analysis focus was passing inspection.

错误：The temperature is at 100 °C.

正确：The temperature is 100 °C.

错误13：介词缺失

错误：The reduction in thermal efficiency caused by friction can be compensated by reducing heat transfer losses.

正确：The reduction in thermal efficiency caused by friction can be compensated for by reducing heat transfer losses.

错误：I searched solutions.

正确：I searched for solutions.

错误14：介词搭配错误

错误：They developed the product with joint efforts of external teams.

正确：They developed the product in a joint effort with external teams.

错误：I was admitted to the Ph.D. program of Chemistry in Washington University in 2012.

正确：In 2012, I was admitted to the Ph.D. program in Chemistry at Washington University.

错误：He provided an answer for this question.

正确：He provided answer to this question.

不好：The temperature drop leads to the reduction of thermal efficiency.

较好：The temperature drop leads to the reduction in thermal efficiency.

错误15：不定冠词“a”或“an”与定冠词“the”的混淆或缺失

错误：The maximum efficiency was 80%, obtained with the inlet gas velocity of 12 m/s.

正确：The maximum efficiency was 80%, obtained with an inlet gas velocity of 12 m/s.

错误16：用错单数和复数

错误：At a temperature above 300 ℃, the thermal efficiency decreased slightly.

正确：At temperatures above 300 ℃, the thermal efficiency decreased slightly.

错误17：漏用撇号所有格形式

虽然名词能够修饰名词，但在很多情况下，使用带撇号的所有格形式能将修饰关系表达得更清晰。

不好：The measurement point A was at the dust collector inlet.

较好：The measurement point A was at the dust collector’s inlet.

错误18：书名未使用斜体，或误用引号或中文书名号

错误：I read the books of “Principles of Vibration” and《Fluid Mechanics》.

正确：I read Principles of Vibration and Fluid Mechanics.

错误19：论文或文章的标题未加引号，或误用斜体。

错误：I wrote a thesis titled Engine Performance Analysis at High-Altitude Conditions.

正确：I wrote a thesis titled “Engine Performance Analysis at High-Altitude Conditions”.

错误20：使用口语化的非正式用词