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武夷山
我父亲不是老大
作者:Fatimah Asghar(南亚裔美国穆斯林女诗人)
译者:武夷山©
原诗发表于Orion杂志2025年秋季号
我父亲不是老大,不过被改成了老大
他前面还有两个姐姐,不知叫啥。
我祖母曾领着两个孙女走向伊拉克,朝觐之路。
一个死在去路上,一个死在归途。
就在途中埋了,埋在到处是边界线的国度
那地方我们没法去,不过,反正我不清楚
如何找到她们的墓址,也不知道她们的姓名
她们下葬几十年后我才出生。
于是我父亲成了老大。多年后,我叔父出生
他16岁那年过马路时被撞丧生
被什么撞的,也无所谓了
反正他被收走了,他去世后
我祖父痛不欲生,叔父的离去如永无完结的日食
遮天蔽日,他们说,祖父从此像是变了个人。
叔父的墓碑上布满书法体文字
是祖父亲手书写,三块大理石碑
承载着祖父的哀伤,他的小儿子走了
他的心破成空洞。下面这些我都没见到:
那个坟墓,那样的爱,祖父的手通过碑文
伸向儿子,用碑文抒发他的感情
用他所知道的最清真的方式来表达如何被爱
如何被祭扫,如何被铭记。祖父的两个无名女孩
此时如风来临,将其弟弟墓前的玫瑰轻轻拂动。
原诗如下:
my father was not the eldest
BY FATIMAH ASGHAR
my father was not the eldest though he is rewritten
as so. before him, there were two, girls, nameless.
my grandmother walked to iraq with them, pilgrimage.
one died on the way there. one died on the way back.
buried on the way, in land where borders bloomed
where we cannot go, though, i wouldn’t even know
how to find their graves, their names unknown to me
buried decades before i took my first breath. my father
became & was crowned eldest. years later, a younger
brother was born, a baby, sixteen when he crossed
the street & was hit by—it doesn’t matter, what took
him. just that he was taken. & when gone, shattered
my grandfather’s heart. the loss of him an unending
eclipse, blocking the sun. he never was the same, they say.
my uncle’s grave, sprawling with calligraphy, handwritten
by my grandfather, three marble plaques
holding the grief of my grandfather, his baby
son gone & his heart broken open. i’ve never seen
anything like it—that grave, that love, my grandfather
reaching for his son through marble, writing out his love
in the cleanest way he knew how. oh, to be loved. to be
visited. to be marked. my grandfather’s two nameless girls
wind now, rippling the roses at their brother’s rest.
2026年1月13日请DeepSeek翻译此诗,答卷如下:
《我父亲并非长子》
法蒂玛·阿什加尔 作
我父亲并非长子却总被改写
为长子。在他之前有两个,女孩,没有名字。
祖母曾带她们徒步去伊拉克,朝圣。
一个死在去的路上。一个死在归途。
埋在途中,在边境线盛开之地
我们无法前往,何况我甚至不知
如何找寻她们的坟墓,连姓名都陌生
长眠数十年后我才初临人世。父亲
成为并受封长子。多年后,一个更年轻的
弟弟出生,幼童,十六岁那年穿过
街道被撞于——不必追问何种力量
带走了他。只知他被带走。离开时击碎
祖父的心。这份丧失如无尽的
日蚀,遮蔽太阳。他们说,他从此判若两人。
叔叔的坟茔,蔓延着祖父
手书的铭文,三块大理石匾
承载祖父的哀恸,他幼子
逝去而他的心迸裂。我从未见过
这样的存在——那座坟,那份爱,祖父
隔着大理石伸手触碰儿子,用他所知最洁净的方式
书写他的爱。啊,被爱着。被探望。
被铭记。祖父那两个无名的女孩
如今是风,在兄弟安息处拂动玫瑰。
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