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[转载]谈谈我作英文编辑时发现的常见问题及其改进的方法

已有 697 次阅读 2023-8-17 15:58 |系统分类:论文交流|文章来源:转载

英文水平有限,SCI论文写作压力山大?资深医学编辑分享超实用的tips, 帮助大家撰写地道的英文医学文稿。

一.常见的语法问题

1. 这是最容易忽视的错误,它在经典的The Elements of Style书中名列第二。In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction, use a comma after each term except the last (在一系列三个或三个以上带有单个连词的术语中,除最后一个术语外,在每个术语后面应使用逗号),尤其是倒数第二的逗号常常被忽视。


例句:However, HB, HCT and PT in the autologous transfusion group were better than those in the allogeneic transfusion group.
改正:However, HB, HCT, and PT in the autologous transfusion group were better than those in the allogeneic transfusion group.

2. 这也是最容易出现的错误,尤其在长句中(带有修饰性的从句时)主语是单数第三人称或复数,而谓语动词不配合。
例句:The procedure for collecting the unlabeled pre-enriched CD4+T cells were the same as mentioned above.
改正:The procedure for collecting the unlabeled pre-enrichedCD4+T cells was the same as mentioned above.

例句:The number of Nab positive subjects (%) in the BAT2206 group, ustekinumab(EU), and ustekinumab (US) group were 8 (8.9%), 5 (5.7%), and 6 (6.7%), respectively.
改正: The number of Nab positive subjects (%) in the BAT2206 group, ustekinumab (EU) group, and ustekinumab (US) group was 8 (8.9%), 5 (5.7%), and 6 (6.7%), respectively.

3. And 连接的两个并立句,如果缺乏逻辑的联系,应拆成两个句子。作者:杨骅 ,《医学研究与发表》转载请注明美捷登,商业转载请联系美捷登授权。
例句:These patients did not receive any corticosteroids and immunosuppressive drugs in the three months before and during the baseline measurement and were excluded from other autoimmune diseases, infectious diseases, infectious diseases, and respiratory system, circulatory diseases.
改正:Those patients did not receive any corticosteroids and immunosuppressive drugs in the three months before and during the baseline measurement. If patients have other autoimmune diseases, infectious diseases, infectious diseases, respiratory system, or circulatory diseases, they were excluded from this study.

二.如何提高医学英语的写作水平,像native speaker一样写出地道的英语医学文章

笔者建议多读经典的医学教科书,如CECIL Essentials of MEDICINE最好手头有一本,经常翻翻,体会一下西人是如何用书面语言表达和阐述自己的观点。再则,就是模仿用英语表达同样的事情或观点。久而久之,英语的写作水平就会提高,语法错误也少了。更重要的是,自己学会了英语写作,不用再大段大段地拷贝别人的文章,以免Cross-check通不过。下面从CECIL Essentials of MEDICINE一书中摘出两个句子,看看西人是怎样写长句的。


例句1The process of splicing, or removing intronic sequences to produce the mature mRNA, is an exquisitely choreographed event that involves the intermediate formation of a spliceosome, a large complex consisting of small nuclear RNAs and specific proteins, which contains a loop or lariat-like structure that includes the intron targeted for removal.
从此例句中,可以看出各层的意思表达得很清晰,从句的谓语动词指向明确,不会产生歧义。转载请联系美捷登授权,并显著标明来源美捷登。

例句2Because prosthetic heart valves are associated with a number of complications, including thrombosis, endocarditis, and hemolysis, the decision to proceed with valve surgery should only be made after the risks of valve replacement are weighed against the potential benefits of symptom relief and improved survival.


从此例句中,可以看出各层的逻辑关系表达分明,重点突出。

三.机器翻译的译文需人工修改

机器翻译是指由计算机进行自动翻译的过程,如今人工智能技术的发展极大地推动了机器翻译的进步。虽然人工翻译的精度很高,但是费时费力。机器翻译的特点是译文生成的速度快且成本低廉,特别适用于翻译大量的文本。长期以来,机器翻译都是指句子级的翻译。主要原因是可以大大简化计算机翻译建模的过程。但是人类的语言交流并不是孤立地在一个个句子上进行的,所以基于上下文的翻译是机器翻译的一个重要分支。

目前,大多数机器翻译系统的功能主要是句子级的翻译。由于缺乏对篇章上下文信息的建模,往往对篇章级的翻译效果不尽人意。因此经常需要人工修改后才能使用,例如译后编辑(Post-editing,另一种方法是让人和机器翻译系统进行互相交流,在不断的修正中生成更好的译文,这个过程也称作交互式机器翻译(Interactive machine translation IMT)。下面举例说明之。
中文原文:工作人员提前将检测项目输入系统,打印标签,粘贴到采血管上,采血护士扫描受试者腕带和采血管标签,匹配成功后,即可进行血样采集。

机器翻译的译文:

The staff input the test items into the system in advance, print the label and paste it on the blood collection vessel. Nurse scans the wristband of the subject and the label of the blood collection vessel. After successful match, the blood sample can be collected.

人工修改后的译文:
It is required for the staff to affix the labeling tags to the blood collection tubes. Those labeling tags have been printed out in advance, based on the information which was imported to the computer by the corresponding staff. When collecting the blood samples, a nurse must scan both subject’s wristband and the label of the blood collection tubes to firm the consistency of the information presented in both of them.

回译:工作人员需要将标签贴在采血管上。这些标签是根据工作人员输入电脑的信息提前打印出来的。采集血样时,护士必须扫描受试者的腕带和采血管的标签,以确保两者所记录的信息完全一致。

再举一例。

中文原文:对于尿液样本的留取,工作人员应先对受试者进行物品检查,防止受试者留尿时将其他物品带入洗手间,导致尿液标本被稀释或污染。对物品检查合格的受试者,工作人员打印条码粘贴到尿杯上。先扫描尿杯上条码,后扫描受试者腕带,信息匹配后,将受试者尿杯和尿管发给留尿的受试者,受试者逐一进入洗手间留尿,留尿完成后,工作人员同时根据尿液的颜色和尿管温度来判断样本是否是受试者本人留取或已经被稀释或污染。对于被稀释或污染的尿液样本,应如实记录并将样本丢弃,受试者不允许继续进行筛选。判断样本合格后,工作人员再次扫描受试者尿杯上的条码。


机器翻译的译文:
For the collection of urine samples, the staff should check the objects of the subjects first, in order to prevent the subjects from bringing other objects into the toilet, leading to the dilution or contamination of the urine samples. For the qualified subjects, the staff printed the barcode and pasted it on the urine cup. First, the barcode on the urine cup was scanned, and then the wristband was scanned, the catheter was sent to the subjects, staff guide them to the toilet one by one for urine collection. After urine collection, the staff should judge whether the sample is taken by the subject himself or has been diluted or contaminated according to the color of urine and the temperature of catheter. Diluted or contaminated urine samples should be recorded truthfully and discarded. Subjects are not allowed to continue screening. After the sample was judged to be qualified, the staff scanned the bar code on the urine cup again

人工修改后的译文:

To avoid a contrived urine sample that is diluted or contaminated on purpose, the staff should check the items the subject carried and indicate those which are not allowed to take into the toilet when collecting urine samples. After checking, the staff will print a barcode and affix it to the subject’s urine collection cup. Once the information presented in both of subject’s cup and wristband are matched by scanning the barcode, that person is allowed to enter the toilet for collecting a urine sample. Once he/she received a cup of urine sample, the staff should judge whether it is the original one or diluted or contaminated, based on the color and temperature of this sample. If the urine sample is found to be diluted or contaminated, it will be discarded with a truthful record. Meanwhile the subject with the contrived urine sample is not allowed to continue the screening. Only the qualified samples could be taken by the staff who will scan the barcode on the collection cup again.

回译:为避免人为的尿液样本被故意稀释或污染,工作人员在收集尿液样本时,应检查受试者所携带的物品,并注明不允许带入厕所的物品。检查后,工作人员将打印出条形码,并将其贴在受试者的尿液收集杯上。一旦通过扫描条形码匹配了受试者杯子和腕带上的信息,该受试者就可以进入厕所收集尿液样本。一旦收到尿样,工作人员应根据尿样的颜色和温度,判断是原始尿样,还是被稀释或被污染。如发现尿样被稀释或污染,应如实记录并丢弃。同时,携带作假的尿液样本的受试者不得继续筛查。

从以上两个例子可以看出人工修改后的译文更贴近中文原文,而且更符合英语的表达方式,便于读者理解。

以上问题总结及思考希望对正在进行英文写作或编辑的您有所帮助。后面将与大家继续分享英文写作过程中的常见问题,以及如何撰写地道的英文医学文稿,欢迎大家持续关注!(如果您有任何关于英文写作的问题,欢迎评论互动答疑哦~)

作者:杨骅 ,《医学研究与发表》

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