在Brian Tracy成功学书中,有这么一条人生定律:The Law of Reciprocity。
The Law of Reciprocity states that people are internally driven to be even, to reciprocate for anything done either to or for them. They will be willing to help achieve your goals only when you have demonstrated a willingness to help them to achieve their goals.
The most successful people in our society, in all fields, are those who have helped the greatest number of other people to get the things they want. They build up a reservoir of goodwill and create a propensity in others to help them, to reciprocate for having been helped in the past.
If you want to increase the quantity and quality of your returns, your rewards, you need but to increase the quantity and quality of your service. By always doing more than you're paid for, you'll eventually be paid more than you're getting now. By putting more in, you'll get more out. By "overcontributing" you'll end up being "overcompensated."
这段话说得很透彻。它的意思说,如果你乐意解决别人的(比如你的老板的)问题,分担别人的忧愁,别人也会来解决你的问题,分担你的忧愁,把你的付出反馈给你。为此,要成功,就要不断地付出;不能给多少工资干多少活,而要干超过工资价值的活,这样才能赢得别人的尊敬和帮助。
这段话说得没错。比如中学时,我们到某煤气厂参观。作报告的管理人员说工厂建设初期,资金紧缺,一些双职工没有分到房子,却不离不弃;后来经济效益好了,造起了公房,厂里给这些双职工更多照顾,分到相对宽敞的房子。
再比如,有两个科研者合作研究一个东西,结果双方贡献比例相仿,但是第一作者只能有一个。一方根本就没有提出做第一作者,对辛勤付出毫无怨言。结果另外一方(第一作者)考虑到这种情况提出以后还继续合作,“吃亏”的一方只要做少量的事情也可以成为第二作者。
再比如现在科研教育界,做了很多事情未必“算的”。比如帮出版社审稿、帮系里构建网页、协助学校举办国际会议、接待外宾、当一些不是自己“嫡系”学生的学生的非正式导师(informal mentor)、给别人修改出国材料,这些都被视为“软”的东西(“硬”的东西为科研成果和项目资金),在评职称的时候很难放在台面上说。究竟该怎么补偿、怎么考虑,还要不要帮助别人、主动承担,这个问题值得思考。
The Law of Reciprocity的意思是,吃亏的事情做得越多,别人反馈地也越多。但是,要做到专门找吃亏的事情做还是非常不容易。比如在有的国外国家实验室,向国家申请科研基金都如拍电影找“全明星”阵容一样,都是资深科学家出面的。一些有为青年、少数族裔、他国出生的人出不了头只能当“枪手”(ghost writer),把科研申请书写好让“明星科学家”出马拿钱,自己只能吃些剩饭剩菜。能做到这样,才能赢得本土明星科学家的表面上的“器重”。一句话:不但不抢别人饭碗而且把别人的活干了让别人去邀功,自己干最苦最累的活,才会赢得土生土长的人的“器重”。