We housewives of the neighbourhood often gather together, and talk about the little kids playing around. The recent concern of us is constant spilling of kids, like Giovanna’s complaint the other day, “lately my girl has decided it as a great fun to spill her drinks intentionally. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.” Her girl is only one month older than ours, and I’m now also headache about the similar experiments by Nicole.

As I’ve noticed, there are two types of spillage perpetrated by kids: accidental and intentional. Accidental spills  to my knowledge are a result of a child’s level of development, which I can understand and tolerate with. While as to the constant spilling on purpose, I am really headache. She just spills the milk, or juice, or water, on the floor, the table, herself. As if the accidental spills weren’t bad enough, the intentional spilling is really hard for me to stand. But you can not say she is always doing wrong by spilling. According to the researchers, “the intentional spill is generally motivated more by curiosity than by mischievousness.” Maybe she is just practising filling and pouring. Maybe she is thinking, “What will happen when I turn this cup over? Hey, look at the milk dripping all over the place. This is great!” And she is tirelessly enthuastic, replicating the experiment over and over again.

Anyway, intentional spills are not acceptable, and her just-for-fun spilling should be ended. So if she spills to play the filling and pouring game, I will move her to the bath to let her enjoy it. But sometimes she insists pouring on the floor. Once I lost my control and screamed seeing that she pour a full cup pf milk on the mat again. She was a little bit scared by me. I really wanted to scold her but I tried my best to swallow my anger. I took her cup away and said to her, “I’m sorry that I yelled at you but that’s my new floor mat, and seeing milk spill all over it made me feel angry. You should apologize to me.” And she said ‘dui bu qi (sorry)’, lowering her head in front of me. My anger was gone at the moment seeing her behavior. I gave her a hug and replied,“It’s Ok. Let’s see if you can try to be more careful next time.” Then I started cleaning. She seemed interested in mopping the floor. Noticing this, I gave her a sponge and asked her to help, “Now we both have a sponge. How about we doing the cleaning together?” She replied ‘hao (Ok)’ loudly and mopped the floor cheerfully. It seems that to enlist her help in cleaning up what she is intentionally spilled is a much more positive approach than yelling at her. By doing this, I also want to show her she has to face the concequences of her actions.

There are so many dumbfounding things particularly in this sometimes stormy third year. It’s hard to stand all the time but I can’t blame her for acting her age. To end her inappropriate behavior will take her willing cooperation. But the question is how to make her cooperative? What I learn from the life is to give her a sponge instead of a scolding. Patience, a sense of humor, a good supply of sponges really work in this case!

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http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/space-uid-309597.html