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科技写作(118):创建句子和段落的凝聚力

已有 5995 次阅读 2014-1-2 22:52 |个人分类:科技写作|系统分类:科研笔记

      对段落而言,句与句之间不仅要有逻辑性,而且还要有凝聚力。在营造凝聚力时需要考虑单词的定位,合适的单词位置有助于创造出流畅的段落。

1a  Yersinia contains several species. The cause of bubonic plague,also known as the “black death,” is onespecies, Y. pestis.

1b  Yersinia contains several species. One species, Y. pestis,is the cause of bubonic plague, also known as the “block death.”

1a的语流就不如1b顺畅,因为前句中的信息(Yesinia, species)还未及重复,就插入了新的信息(bubonic plague, black death)。而例b因为关键词“species”的位置恰当,前一句的信息在下一句的句首出现,所以句与句的连接更加顺畅。

也可以通过前后一致的叙述角度来建立凝聚力。

Rhubarb is a frequently used Chinese herbal medicine. It is used totreat various ailments including constipation, inflammation, and cancer (1,2). Asa drug, rhubarb is made up of theroots and rhizomes of three members of the polygonaceae family, rheum officinale,R. palmatum, and R. tanguticum. Differentrhubarb species show substantial differences in purgative effects andchemical compositions. However, theyare similar in physical appearance and thus difficult to distinguish.

该例中,每个句子主题位置的信息都与第一句(主题句)相一致,换句话说,就是论述角度一致,每个句子的主语都是同一个或同一类词语。

 

练习确保主题句中关键词的顺序与其他各句一致。确保同一个关键词的使用前后一致,在传递副主题时保持正确的平行结构。

       Apart from seawater acidification,the ocean in a high CO2 world will experience other changes,including higher surface temperatures enhanced stratification, and decreasesmixed-layer depths. Although the direct effect of rising temperatures on netcommunity carbon-to-nutrient ratios is unclear, at the organism level, mostexperimental studies indicate an increase in the C:N ratio with increasingtemperature. Decreased mix-layer depth tends to increase phytoplanktoncarbon-to-nutrient ratios, which would augment the direct CO2 effectof C:N:P stoichiometry observed in this study. Increased stratification, incontrast, would decrease the supply of nutrients to the surface layer, reducingoverall primary and export production. Thus, concurrent with a decrease in thestrength of the biological pump caused by a lower nutrient supply the pump’sefficiency is likely to increase at increased CO2.

 

参考答案

       Apart from seawater acidification, the ocean in a high CO2world will experience other changes, including higher surface temperatures,increasedstratification, anddecreased mixed-layer depths. Highersurface temperatures appear to increase the C:N ratio at the organism level,although the direct effect of higher surface temperatures on net communitycarbon-to-nutrient ratios is unclear. Increased stratification, incontrast, would decrease the supply of nutrients to the surface layer, reducingoverall primary and export production. Decreasedmixed-layer depth tends to increase phytoplankton carbon-to-nutrient ratios,which would augment the direct CO, effect on C:N:P stoichiometry observed inthis study. Thus, concurrent with a decrease in the strength of thebiological pump caused by a lower nutrient supply, the pump's efficiency islikely to increase at increased CO2.

      主句中关键术语与其他句子中的一致. 关键术语重复时严格一致, 并且次级主题句保持平行的形式.

 

参考阅读:

《英语科技论文撰写与投稿》:再版面世http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-38899-461483.html

 



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