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科技写作(117):论述主题与角度的一致性 精选

已有 5554 次阅读 2013-12-29 08:59 |个人分类:科技写作|系统分类:科研笔记

       如果先在主题句中列出所要讨论的项目,然后在接下来的各句中予以具体描述,则要使用平行结构和正确的顺序。例如,主题句中的列举顺序为,则后文也应该按照先、再、最后的顺序予以解释,如此才能与读者的预期相一致。此外,一方面要确保主题句中提到的项目都得到了解释,避免画蛇添足的其他信息打断顺序;另一方面不要随意添加主题句未涉及的项目。

论述角度与人称要保持一致。如果一篇文章的前后风格(包括论述角度与人称)不一致,就会导致读者迷失方向。

11 This study suggests thatpatients with a prolonged febrile illness should always be a consideration fortuberculosis, especially if family members have been born in a country wheretuberculosis is endemic. 2Tuberculosis presents not only as fever, 3but you may also have lymphadenopathy and arthritis. 4 Patients with disseminated tuberculosis usually have evidence ofpulmonary or hepatic disease.(句1和句4的主语是“patients”,然而句2和句3的表述角度却与此不一致,第一个主语和第二个主语都不是病人“patients”,第一个主语是肺结核“tuberculosis”,至于第二个主语由第一人称“I”变成第二人称“you”。这种转换破坏了段落的整体性,会让读者迷失方向。)

修改后的例11 This study suggests that patients with a prolonged febrileillness should always be a consideration for tuberculosis, especially if familymembers have been born in a country where tuberculosis is endemic. 2 Patients with tuberculosis presentnot only with fever, 3 but may alsohave lymphadenopathy and arthritis. 4 Patients with disseminated tuberculosisusually have evidence of pulmonary or hepatic disease.

 

练习:

1 对段落进行组织使其具有条理,使用过渡词指示第二句和第三句的关系。

1 Both GAD-positive cell bodies and processeswere found in the ventral lateral posterior nucleus and thalamic reticularnucleus. 2 Almost all of the neuronsin the thalamic reticular nucleus appeared to contain GAD-immunoreactivity. 3 Only small round cells in the ventrallateral posterior nucleus were GAD positive.

 

2 通过对第一句和第二句的关键词进行衔接,使两句话的论述角度相近。

1 When the temperature falls at constantpressure, most pure materials pass from gas to liquid to solid. 2 _____A large number of phases isdisplayed by rod-like molecules called “liquid crystals” (ref.).

 

参考答案

1

1 Both GAD-positive cell bodies and processes werefound in the thalamic reticular nucleusand ventral lateral posterior nucleus. 2 Almost all of the neurons in thethalamic reticular nucleus appeared to contain GAD-immunoreactivity. 3 However, only small round cells in theventral lateral posterior nucleus were GAD positive.

修改句保持了“thalamic reticular nucleus and ventrallateral posterior nucleus与第一句一致的顺序. 此外, 在第3句的开始增加了过渡词, 以更清楚地表示句2和句3之间的逻辑关系.

 

2

1 When the temperature falls at constant pressure,most pure materials pass from gas to liquid to solid. 2 However, some materials called “liquid crystals,” which are rod-likemolecules, display a large number of phases (ref.).

或: ... An exception to thesematerials are “liquid crystals,” which are rod-like molecules that displaya large number of phases (ref.).

 

参考阅读:

《英语科技论文撰写与投稿》:再版面世http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-38899-461483.html



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