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科技写作(105):优先使用动词

已有 8589 次阅读 2013-3-10 12:02 |个人分类:科技写作|系统分类:论文交流| style, exactly, Yellow

        动词会使文章充满活力与力量,相反,如果以名词表述动作,动词就会被埋没、削弱,句子则显得晦涩、冗长。

1Their suggestion for us was a different analysis of the data.

   修改:They suggested that we analyze the data differently. 修改后动作均由动词表示,结构清晰,风格简洁。

2An increase in temperature occurred.

修改:Temperature increased. 修改后,动词积极、有力,句子简单、直接且更高效。

3This wavelength caused a decrease in the molar absorption coefficient. 动作被隐没在宾语(“decrease”)中,而真正的宾语(“molar absorption coefficient”)却被移至介词短语中(“in the molar absorption coefficient”)

修改:This wavelength decreased the molar absorption coefficient. 修改后的句子因为动词前移动而显得有力、积极。

        此外,要避免用介词宾语代替动词来表述动作(作为介词的词包括:“of,” “for,” “on,” “in,” “to,” and “with.”)。

4With an increase in sperm concentration, the fertilization rate improved. 前半句中的动作是由“increase”的名词化形式表示的,在这里是介词“with”的宾语。该句冗长且晦涩难懂,原因有二:(1“with”不准确,用“when”更清楚;(2)没有动词,动作被隐没在介词短语中。

C 修改:When sperm concentration was increased, the fertilization rate improved. 将介词短语转化为独立句,使用主动动词使句子生动、易懂。

 

练习:将下列各句中的动作加入动词中。

1.       Measurements were performed on reaction products by a mass spectrometer.

2.       Removal of mitochondria was achieved by HPLC.

3.       Two measurements of amyloid plaques were obtained for each brain.

4.       Elevations in WBC count did not occur when aspirin and streptokinase were given.

5.       Our results showed protection of the dogs by the vaccine.

6.       A PI 3-kinase signaling cascade exerts a controlling regulation of PIP2 levels.

7.       Stanozolol caused prolongation of appetite.

8.       Agglomeration of clusters of Ag or Cu in a noble gas matrix causes the emission of visible light.

9.       Sequencing of the A-B construct was performed on an ABI377 automated DNA sequencer using Big Dye Sequencing deoxyterminators (ABI v3.0)

10.   There was no significant difference in growth rates between the Shh-treated and control samples during the 1 hr prior to protein addition.

11.   We performed plasmid isolation to sequence the A-B insert in the pBluescript (STRATAGENE) vector.

12.   Rfp2 overexpression caused changes in expression of many genes that regulate cell cycle.

13.   To determine whether cell migration is occurring, we dissected mouse brains.

14.   In all instances, the result of the binding of these soluble molecules to their specific receptors is the activation of intracellular signaling cascades.

15.   Buffalo, elephant, and black rhino abundance all show a rapid decline after 1977.

16.   Current displays free flow in a superconductor because the electrons form pairs that travel unhindered through the material.

17.   A powerful methodology developed in our laboratory enables structural characterization of increasingly complex systems.

18.   We must understand the central puzzle of how O=O bond formation occurs.

19.   In the samples containing MMS, a slowing of replication was observed.

20.   Water oxidation leads to the production of the production of biochemical fuel and oxygen.

 

参考答案

1.       Reaction products were measured by a mass spectrometer. (We measured ...)

2.       Mitochondria were removed by HPLC. (We removed ...)

3.       Amyloid plaques were measured twice for each brain. (We measured...)

4.       WBC count was not elevated when aspirin and streptokinase were given.

5.       Our results showed that the vaccine protected the dogs.

6.       PI 3-1dnase signaling cascade regulates PIP2 levels

7.       Stanozolol prolonged appetite.

8.       Visible light is emitted when clusters of Ag or Cu are agglumerated in a noble gas matrix.

9.       The A-B construct was sequenced on an ABI377 automated DNA sequencer using Big Dye Sequencing deoxyterminators (ABI v3.0). (We sequenced ...)

10.   Growth rates did not differ significantly between the Shh-treated and control samples during the 1 hr before protein was added.

11.   We isolated plasmids to sequence the A-B insert in the pBluescript (STRATAGENE) vector.

12.   Rfp2 overexpression changed the expression of many genes that regulate cell cycle.

13.   To determine whether cells migrate, we dissected mouse brains.

14.   In all instances, the binding of these soluble molecules to their specific receptors activates intracellular signaling cascades.

OR: In all instances, when these soluble molecules bind to their specific receptors, they activate intracellular signaling cascades.

15.   Buffalo, elephant, and black rhino abundance all declined rapidly after 1977.

16.   Current flows freely in a superconductor because the electrons form pairs that travel unhindered through the material.

17.   A powerful methodology developed in our laboratory allows us to structurally characterize increasingly complex systems.

18.   We must understand the central puzzle of how O=O bonds form.

19.   In the samples containing MMS, replication slowed.

20.   Water oxidation produces biochemical fuel and oxygen.

 

摘编自《科技写作与交流》(任胜利 . 科学出版社, 2012年出版)



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