例1

原句：Fractions of 0.8ml were collected, reduced to dryness, and dissolved in 3.75% methanol (v/v) prior to being sequenced.

修改：Fractions of 0.8ml were collected, dried, and dissolved in 3.75% methanol (v/v) prior to being sequenced.

简析：原句的写作风格有些沉重、繁复。科技论文涉及许多专业术语，正因如此，在其他词汇的选择上就更应该简洁，避免让读者感觉沉重。显然，“dried”相对于“Reduced to dryness”在表达上更简洁。

例2

原句：There is a large body of experimental evidence that clearly shows that members of the genus Crotalus congregate simultaneouly in cases of prolonged decreased temperature conditions in the later part of the year.

修改：Rattlesnakes come together when it gets cold in the fall.

简析：由于文化差异，有些作者习惯使用大量华而不实的修饰词以示委婉。但在西方，表达更为直接。因此，英语为第二语言（ESL）的作者要特别注意避免过度使用修饰词和修饰短语。要确保读者能够理解，就需要使用简单的词汇。也就是说，除专业术语外，选择那些与朋友交谈时常用的词，如：使用“use”而非“utilize”。

练习：修改以下各句，以更简洁的词语取代下划线部分。

1.         The differences in our results compared to those of Reuter et al. (1995) can be accounted for by the fact that different conditions were used.

2.         In our opinion, it is not an unjustifiable assumption that the vibrational spectrum of CO₂ is temperature dependent.

3.         For the purpose of examining cell migration, we dissected mouse brains.

4.         Our results are in accordance with Seuter et al. (1988) who measured iPin the culture medium of Physcomitrella transformed with the agrobacterial isopentenyltransferase gene.

5.         We performed a systematic study of the vibrational spectrum of CO₂ using various isotopomers.

6.         In Swaziland, the number of HIV infected children increased by an order of magnitude in the past decade.

参考答案

1.         are due to (are caused by) different conditions.

2.         OMIT OR we believe that...

3.         To...

4.         fit; agree

5.         We studied.., systematically

6.         10-fold

摘编自《科技写作与交流》(任胜利 等 译. 科学出版社, 2012年出版)