科学是可以用来开玩笑的。

笑话出真知。

科学笑话大全，包含各学科：

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/

 

 

一

下面的笑话来自关于统计学笑话的一个网址：

http://www.btinternet.com/~se16/hgb/statjoke.htm

有一帮生物统计学家和一帮流行病学家坐同一辆火车去参加一个联合会议。每个流行病学家都买了一张票，但生物统计学家们总共只买了一张。处于好奇的天性，流行病学家问生物统计学家，他们将怎样在售票员来剪票的时候用如此小的车票样本过关。生物统计学家说：“简单。我们有法子对付的。”不久，售票员来剪票了。所有的生物统计学家立马都挤进了茅厕。当售票员敲门的时候，生物统计学家的头儿从门底下将他们唯一的车票塞了出去，非常成功的票过了售票员。会议结束后，这两帮学家又上了同一辆火车。跟风能力一直都很强的流行病学家统共也只买了一张票。而始终站在前列的生物统计学家们居然一张票都没买。流行病学家成了丈二和尚——摸不着头脑，就问：“我们很理解你们买一张票就能凑效的方法。但你们不买票咋过关啊？”生物统计学家得意地笑：“简单！我们有另外的法子对付。”不一会，当售票员到达临近的车厢时，流行病学家拿着唯一的车票小跑着躲进了茅厕，而生物统计学家则躲进了另外一间茅厕。很快，生物统计学家的头儿偷偷地跑到流行病学家躲的地方敲门。流行病学家接到了这个指示，把票从门底下塞了出去。生物统计学家的头儿拿起了这张唯一的票耀武扬威地回到了那伙生物统计学家当中。可想而知，流行病学家们后来被发现了，当众蒙羞。

这个故事的寓意是：不要使用统计方法，除非你理解了他们背后的含义。

二

http://www.weathergraphics.com/tao.htm

 

学生：让俺开悟吧。

大师从一堆天气图里找出一张卫星照片：看到这个了吧？

学生：是的。

大师：进去吧。

三

尽管板块构造的历史给我们提供了新的工作方式，但它们在我看来是一种周期现象。没有什么东西是放之四海皆准的，所有的事物都是插曲。换句话说，地球任何一部分的历史就像一个士兵的一生，是由长期的厌倦和短期的恐怖组成的。

——Derek Victor Ager（1923-1992，英国地质学家）《地层学纪录的本性》第三版(1993),p141

 

 

英文原文：

1

Michael A. Dritschel email: mad@math.purdue.edu URL: http://www.math.purdue.edu/~mad/

There was once a group of Biostatisticians and a group of Epidemiologists riding together on a train to joint meetings. All the Epidemiologists had tickets, but the Biostatisticians only had one ticket between them. Inquisitive by nature, the Epidemiologists asked the Biostatisticians how they were going to get away with such a small sample of tickets when the conductor came through. The Biostatisticians said, "Easy. We have methods for dealing with that." Later, when the conductor came to punch tickets, all the Biostatisticians slipped quietly into the bathroom. When the conductor knocked on the door, the head Biostatistician slipped their one ticket under the door thoroughly fooling the layman conductor. After the joint meetings were over, the Biostatisticians and the Epidemiologists again found themselves on the same train. Always quick to catch on, the Epidemiologists had purchased one ticket between them. The Biostatisticians (always on the cutting edge) had purchased NO tickets for the trip home. Confused, the Epidemiologists asked the Biostatisticians "We understand how your methods worked when you had one ticket, but how can you possibly get away with no tickets?" "Easy," replied the Biostatisticians smugly, "we have different methods for dealing with that situation." Later, when the conductor was in the next car, all the Epidemiologists trotted off to the bathroom with their one ticket and all the Biostatisticians packed into the other bathroom. Shortly, the head Biostatistician crept over to where the Epidemiologists were hiding and knocked authoritatively on the door. As they had been instructed, the Epidemiologists slipped their one ticket under the door. The head Biostatistician took the Epidemiologists' one and only ticket and returned triumphantly to the Biostatistician group. Of course, the Epidemiologists were subsequently discovered and publicly humiliated.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Do not use statistical methods unless you understand the principles behind them.

 

2

Said the Student: "Show me the way to Enlightenment."
      The Master dug through a pile of weather charts and pulled out a satellite photo. "Do you see this?"

"Yes."
      "Enter here."

 

3

Though the history of plate tectonics now provides us with a modus Operandi,
 they still seem to me to be a periodic phenomenon.
  Nothing is world-wide, but everything is episodic. 
 In other words the history of any part of the earth,
 like the life of a soldier, consists of long periods 
of boredom and short periods of terror.

  -- Derek Victor Ager (1923-1992, British geologist) 
in "The nature of the Stratigraphical Record, 3rd edn" (1993),141

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