中国有句俗话，叫“女人心，海底针”，意思是“男人很难理解或猜度女人的想法”。与之类似的说法还有“女人善变”、“女孩心思你莫猜”等。

 

男人和女人之间行为和思想的差异可能来自于生物性差异，也可能来自于社会性差异，或者两者都有。例如一般行为处事男人更为理性，女人更为感性；但在恋爱方面，则男人比女人更容易堕入爱河，而且表达感情也更直白，而女人则更敏感、更细腻、隐藏得更深，且表达感情往往曲折迂回、惯于反向操作，而一旦爱上一个人，则很难忘怀。也有人认为女人善变只是对待她们并不真正爱的人才这样，而对真正的如意郎君则非如此。另外，女人通常由于身心原因，缺乏自信和安全感，因此考虑问题更现实，且在男女交流过程中需要通过别人的言语不断强化和保证（这正是女人很容易被甜言蜜语哄骗的原因）。在交流和交往过程中，男女似乎按照不同的“逻辑”来进行，因此误解的出现是十分平常的。如女人在谈话中重分享心路，男人则重解决问题，而且似乎跟女人开不得玩笑等等。

 

男人很难理解女人并非只有中国才有，外国也如此，这似乎是一种跨文化现象。现转载一幅温画和两篇英文文章以飨读者。

（出处不可考）

 

我以前译过的一个笑话《做不到的要求》也是这个意思。

见：http://www.sciencenet.cn/m/user_content.aspx?id=35677

 

Why is it hard for a man to understand a woman?

 

by Pedro Miranda

FROM：http://www.helium.com/items/248138-why-is-it-hard-for-a-man-to-understand-a-woman

 

Why men don't understand women?

The simple answer, as if there was anything simple about it, is: Evolution.

As far as our DNA is concerned, we have left the caves a few minutes ago. Deep inside our brain the wiring is just the same as that of the Geico caveman. Helen fisher "The first sex" and Deborah Tannen "You just don't understand" have carried out seminal work on the subject of male-female communication and behavior.

The short answer is this: Men evolved to be hunters and as such developed a task oriented behavior and communication style. Communication in men developed to solve immediate problems, generally related to the task at hand; whether the task is getting a woolly mammoth to fall off a cliff, or taking apart a motorcycle engine, the style of communication is the same: Brief, explicit and task oriented. Sometimes I've gone fishing or hunting with a male friend. After I come home, my wife asks me: "What did you guys talk about?" The answer is of course "Nothing" There is not much talk needed to butcher a deer or gut some fish.

Women on the other hand were gatherers. They probably moved about in female groups, gathering roots, berries and such, while communicating with each other. At the same time that food was gathered, they would keep an eye on the children, make sure they did not stroll to close to that hedge where that big snake lives, keep an eye on that lion over there, make sure it doesn't get any closer, and at the same time catch up on the doings of the other women in the group. I.e. multitasking and non linear thinking.

Not only did women evolve differently but on top of it they developed a higher pitched voice. Now babies respond to high pitched tones more than lower pitched tones, so this may have provided an evolutionary advantage and thus the different tone of voice, but this resulted in a more musical speech by women. Recent studies on brain function found out that men do not hear musical speech as well as women. There's strike two.

The third strike is the short attention span that men have for anything that is not of immediate interest. Because men communicate only to problem solve (almost only) and not to share, the minute a woman talks to a man about something, he immediately tries to problem solve. This is a recipe for disaster. Here she is sharing something that frustrated her for the whole day, and he glibly provides an answer after only a minute of conversation. When she complains some more, he gives her a second answer, and maybe a third; if, as usually happens she is getting more and more upset, he can't understand what got into her. He has been trying to be so helpful; he provided three solutions to her problem; why doesn't she like any? In any case, he ends up in the couch, drinking a beer and wondering what did men do to deserve this.

Of course she wants to share and, if he has some experience, he will just shut up and pretend to listen. That is the reason words like Aha, hmmm, and harrumph exist. Of course she gets wise to this very fast and he ends up in the couch, drinking a beer and wondering what did men do to deserve this.

Both sides are equally responsible for this, and no one side can resolve the issue.

Men need to detect when women just want to share, and then just nod their heads and say "Yes dear" and try to keep at least track of the general drift of the monologue, err.. I mean conversation.

Women need to let men know that they just want to share, and do not need a solution to their problem, and also understand that men's attention span, if there is no problem to be solved, is about 1.5 minutes, and do their sharing in a short time period. Maybe 5 minutes.

And I'll just go directly to the couch at this time.

 

 

Reasons Men Don't Understand Women

 

By Abhishek Agarwal

FROM：http://ezinearticles.com/?Reasons-Men-Dont-Understand-Women&id=1660304

 

Girls are highly complicated. Men see that she comprises clothes, smiles, lovely hairstyles, and several other things that cannot be mentioned here due to lack of space and also because of a need to be prudent. It is quite obvious that the above-mentioned do not comprise a girl. It is also obvious that a girl cannot be a girl without all these things. Men have never been able to comprehend where the things that a girl uses end and where the actual girl begins.

A lot of girls would love to be men, except on certain occasions. At least, this is what they say, and this must part of their complicated nature. No man can fathom why on earth a girl would want to be a man. Men turn pale before them, go cold and hot before them, chase after them and also run away from them, swear at them and also by them. A small-sized girl in lisle-thread stockings and a short skirt is able to twist strong men round her tiny finger.

In a way, men are lucky because girls are more fond of them than they are of other girls. There are different types of girls, and a single girl is not the same at all times. A girl by herself is not the same as she is in the company of her girlfriends. The same girl behaves differently when she is in the company of many men. And in the company of a single man, a girl's behavior has confused even the son of Jakesh, Agur.

It is natural that a man prefers a girl as she is when she is alone. But it is not possible to have a lot of good at one time. If this was true, a bevy of damsels would have caused a lot of happiness in men, yet men are more fearful about facing a group of girls than they are about facing the bulls of Bashan.

Certain foolish men have made an unsuccessful attempt to build up the idea of an ideal girl. Such a thing as an ideal girl does not exist. If there was such a thing as an ideal girl, she would be nothing in comparison with the real girl, a being of flesh and blood--attributes that are really excellent in a woman.

Equally foolish men have treated girls as playthings. These men should not have tried to play with girls. They must have found out, sooner or later, that they were have a game with brimstone and fire.

The biggest spit-fire in the world can be extremely sweet. Yes, a girl, on the whole, is the sweetest thing known or knowable on earth. The most adorable thing nature has ever produced is the high-bred and high-spirited girl. A girl is quite aware of this, at the cost of men. As a consequence of this awareness, her price has risen, and now man must pay a high price for a variety of things such as ices, chocolates, champagne, dinners, church visits, and sometimes immediate cash.

Men wish they knew everything there is to know about girls. However, it is good that they don't. This is in no way meant to disparage girls. The girl is an eternal puzzle to man, and it is the fact that she is a puzzle that draws man to her and arouses his curiosity about her.

In short, what a man doesn't know about girls would fit into a truck, and what he knows about girls would fit into a girl's little work box.

 

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