想跟大师学写“年终总结”吗？

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转眼一年又将过去,所谓“光阴荏冉,岁月如梭”…每到这个时候,年纪小的一般都很高兴,因为要过年了嘛,可以名正言顺地尽情玩耍,至少多多少少会有一些压岁钱…而年纪大点的一般总要自我伤感一番,直感叹“逝者如斯,奔流到海不复还!”,或“青山依旧在,几度夕阳红”云云…

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最不幸的是年龄不大不小的那些“上有老,下有小;外有老板,内有老婆/公”的, 平时就已经累得晕头转向快找不到北了,到年底还要写一堆“年终总结”，如向领导汇报自己发表了多少篇垃圾文章了、又为领导办了多少实事啦等等……有基金的要详细解释基金是如何用的、没有基金的就得乘机拼命为明年申请基金打下一些舆论基础；基金少的不够用的，要解释为何预算超支？而基金多的用不完的，更头大！削尖脑袋想着如何把基金用出去（否则明年就会被减少基金使用量！）……

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在公司讨生活的,则一边要向老板猛拍胸脯保证明年业绩一定会上升20%以免自己被炒鱿鱼,而一边还要向老婆耐心解释因为世界经济危机所以明年的工资无法调高20%以免被怀疑自己“无能”……

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罢了!罢了! 二傻虽然从天狼星来,既然到了地球,也只好入乡随俗…年终总结一定是逃不掉的!...只是如何写“年终总结”呢? 真的是头大呀! 因为我们天狼星人一生只做一次总结: 那就是在“圆寂”或“羽化”的时候…(地球人中那些需要“盖棺定论”者,估计多少跟咱都有些远房亲戚关系…嘿嘿!)

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还好,师傅一锅粥比俺早到地球,已经有了些经验,看俺整天愁眉苦脸的囧样,心发慈悲,偷偷将老爱(爱因斯坦)当年的年终总结复制了一份,让俺照着模仿即可…俺一看,还真不错! 特向朋友们推荐推荐,跟大师学写“年终总结”,决不吃亏!

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以下便是老爱1905年的年终总结,原文是一外国朋友写就[REF.1],二傻只是将它翻译成中文了,好让大家学得容易一些(黑色字体是问题,蓝色字体是回答)…

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哈哈!谨以此文,敬祝科学网诸位大侠及看官:

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          新年快乐,万事如意!

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'05 Annual Performance Review: Albert Einstein

爱因斯坦1905年终总结报告

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Instruction: Please complete each part of each question and discuss with the employee during the performance review meeting.

说明: 请在年终考核会上与雇员面对面讨论其表现后,完成以下全部问题.

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PART 1: JOB DEFINITION

第一部分: 工作性质

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Describe the employee's duties and responsibilities and indicate the relative priorities of key elements.

请描述该雇员的工作岗位的职责和优先任务.

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This is a patent office, Albert. Your job is to transform written patent applications into clear and precise language, and to study applications and pick out the new ideas of an invention. These are the priorities. Where does it say that your priorities are rewriting the rules of the Universe, unifying space and time, unifying radiation and matter, or demonstrating the existence of atoms?

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爱因斯坦,我们是一个专利局,你的主要工作职责是将别人递交的专利申请整理为清晰和精确的文字,并仔细研究它们,指出其新颖和创新之处…您在哪里看到自己的工作是去重写宇宙的规则,去统一时空的概念,或去证明原子的存在?

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PART II: PERFORMANCE FACTORS

第二部分: 工作表现

	差  ……  优
1.		Works well with others 是否有团队合作精神?
2.		Is willing to work in assigned responsibilities 是否忠于本职工作?
3.		Demonstrates skill and proficiency in carrying out assignments 是否具有完成本职工作所需的技巧和能力?
4.		Strives to improve work methods as a means toward greater efficiency 是否努力钻研工作方法以提高本职工作效率?
5.		Is willing to take on additional responsibilities 是否愿意接受更多工作职责?
6.		Makes sound and timely decisions - analyzes facts and reaches logical conclusions 是否能够及时分析事实并作出合理判断?
7.		Is a reliable employee (attendance, punctuality, consistent work) 是否可以信赖?(如: 是否全勤,是否上班准时且专注)
8.		Shares credit appropriately 是否能与同事分享业绩?

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PART III: PERFORMANCE SUMMARY

第三部分: 工作总结

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1. List aspects of the employee's approach that contribute to his effectiveness.

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请描述该雇员完成的主要工作和业绩.

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Albert does a good job of processing patent applications. He seems to enjoy his work and have a competence for it. I put him down for "excellent" at "analyzes facts and reaches logical conclusions" -- no problem there, we can all agree.

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在处理专利申请的工作上, 爱因斯坦相当好! 他应该比较喜欢自己的工作,而且也能完成任务. 所以我在“是否能够及时分析事实并作出合理判断?”这一项上给了他一个“优”.

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However this year he seems to have devoted much of his time to publishing a series of outside papers. While this is not the primary responsibility of his position, I have to say he has done reasonably well in this respect.

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然而,这一年中,他好象用了很多时间去发表一系列本职工作之外的文章. 虽然这些并非他这样位置的职员的主要责任,但我要说在以下这些方面他干的还是不错的.

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(注:其中英文的下划线部分有老爱原始文章链接,感兴趣的可以进去细读老爱的原文…不过俺不建议大家都去看,因为看了就会发现他其实没您想象的那末伟大动人!)

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1. In March, On a heuristic viewpoint concerning the production and transformation of light, contradicted the well-established wave theory of light, replacing it with a quantum light theory, based on evidence from the photoelectric effect and other prior experiments. You called this paper "revolutionary," and many physicists agreed, although some resisted your conclusions.

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今年3月份,发表了文章“关于光的产生和变换的一个启发性观点”...通过研究光电效应和其他实验证据,试图用光的量子说来代替传统光的波动说,号称是“革命性的”…学术界对此褒贬不一.

 

2. In April, your PhD dissertation A New Determination of Molecular Dimensions measured the size of atoms (and also Avogadro's number), making the theory of atoms more concrete, particularly the kinetic theory of heat, based on an analysis of data about solutions of sugar in water. While atoms had been proposed 2500 years ago and were widely believed in, you helped provide evidence for them.

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今年4月份,完成博士论文“关于分子大小的一种新的测定方法”,测量了原子的大小(还有阿浮伽德罗常数),使得原子论具有了更加坚实的基础…特别是,还通过研究糖在水中的溶解度数据,发展了热学的原子论理论基础…虽然“原子论”在2500年前就有人提出过并被世人广泛相信,你却提供了比较好的证据.  

 

3. In May, On the motion of small particles suspended in liquids at rest required by the molecular-kinetic theory of heat further demonstrates the existence of atoms, explains Brownian motion, and shows that the second law of thermodynamics is just a statistical summary, not an absolute law.

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今年5月份,发表文章“关于悬浮在静止液体中的微小颗粒的运动”,进一步说明了原子的存在,解释了布朗运动,并指出: 热力学第二定律并非先验的,而只是一种统计的结果.

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4. In June, On the electrodynamics of moving bodies introduces what you call the special theory of relativity that shows that there is no distinguished state of rest in the Universe, and no one distinguished notion of time; rather that time and motion are relative to the observer.

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今年6月份,发表文章“论动体的电动力学”,号称狭义相对论,首先指出: 宇宙中并不存在绝对的静止参照系,也没有时间的绝对定义…其实时间和运动都只是相对于观查者而言的.

 

5. In September, Does the inertia of a body depend on its energy content? follows up on the June paper and shows that radiation converts mass to energy according to the formula E = mc^2.

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今年9月份,发表文章“一个物体的惯性与它的能量有关吗?”,继续发展了6月份的思想,指出所谓放射性乃质量变成了能量,并推出了公式: E = mc².

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2. List aspects of employee's approach which require improvement for greater effectiveness.

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请描述该雇员需要学习提高以改善绩效的各个方面.

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Regrettably, I had to put you down as "poor" for "works well with others" and "shares credit appropriately." You had no co-authors on your five papers, and your citations were quite skimpy: no citations at all in your June and September paper, only one citation in your April paper, and not much better on the others. You wrote that your special theory of relativity came to you after a discussion with your friend Michele Besso. But you didn't even acknowledge him in your June paper. This is an area for improvement.

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很遗憾, 我必须将你在“是否有团队合作精神?”和“是否能与同事分享业绩?”这两点上评为差! 你的全部5篇文章都没有合作者,而且参考文献引用得很少: 在你6月份和9月份的文章中根本就没有参考文献;在你4月份的文章里也只有一篇参考文献! 其它文章也都差不多…你自己说过,你的狭义相对论的思路来自于与朋友Michele Besso的一次讨论,但你在6月份的那篇文章中根本就没有提到他! 这点希望以后改进.

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On the other hand, famous physicists are beginning to visit the offices here in Bern; Albert you must make sure that any hours spent in talking to them are subtracted from your time card and made up for later. You are responsible for making sure these visits do not cause a distraction for others in the office.

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另外,由于你的这些文章,许多著名的物理学家开始造访我们在BERN的办公楼. 你应该知道,你在办公室与他们的谈话时间应该从你的法定工作时间中扣除,并在适当的时候及时补上. 特别是, 你必须保证这些人的造访不会影响办公楼里其他文员的专心工作.

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In addition, I would have to say your output, while at times quite extraordinary, has been inconsistent. In Q1 you managed to publish one paper in the final two weeks of the quarter. In Q2 you improved productivity, with your dissertation in April, the Brownian Motion paper in May, and the Special Relativity paper in June. Not bad for a quarter, not bad at all. But then you seemed to slump: you did finish one paper 3 days before the close of Q3, but it was only 3 pages long. I admit that some reviewers did find it noteworthy, but really, couldn't it have been the conclusion of your June paper? It almost seems like you held it back just to have something to show for Q3. And then in Q4 -- no publications at all.

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此外,我要说你的论文发表频率,确实有点反常!

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在第一季度, 你在本季度末尾的最后两周发表了两篇大作…在第二季度,你好象比较努力,在4月份发表了博士论文,在5月份发表了布朗运动,在6月份又发表了狭义相对论…这表面上看来不错! 确实不错! 但你后来就有点偷懒了: 直到第三季度结束前的最后三天, 你终于才又发表了一篇文章,总共只有三页! 虽然有的审稿人说这篇文章值得发表, 难道它不就是你6月份那篇文章的小结吗? 在我看来,你好象只是保留了一些东东, 好在第三季度也显得有点业绩而已!至于第四季度, 你就什么屁也没放了…

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You wrote that "A storm broke out in my mind" this year. Let me remind you that our Employee Assistance Plan (EAP) covers up to three psychiatric treatments, should you find them necessary.

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你还老说, 今年“我的头脑老出现风暴!”…我要善意地提醒你,我们公司的医疗保险其实包括了几种神经病治疗费用的报销…你没准会发现它们有点用.

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3.The employee ready for increased responsibility? If yes, please explain.

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该雇员是否应该得到提升去做更高的职位? 如果是, 请解释理由.

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Based on his performance as a patent clerk, I cannot recommend Albert for a promotion at this time.

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作为专利局文员, 我不推荐他继续升任更高职位.

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4. Does the employee require additional training? If yes, please explain.

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该雇员是否需要额外的培训? 如果是, 请解释理由.

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First, congratulations for completing your doctoral dissertation in April. I was impressed that Prof. Alfred  Kleiner wrote that "Herr Einstein has provided evidence that he is capable of occupying himself successfully with scientific problems." So clearly, you need no more formal education.

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However, based on your file photo below, I would suggest you sign up for the "Dress for Success" class. Really: a striped shirt with a plaid suit?

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首先,祝贺你在今年4月份终于完成自己的博士论文…特别是Alfred  Kleiner教授的推荐信中的那句话比较让我满意: “小爱已经证明自己有一定能力可以在科学界混口饭吃”…所以, 你可以不用再受更多科班教育了...

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但是, 看到你求职申请中的下面这张照片, 我真的建议你去参加“成功者的着装”培训班…真的! 你觉得格子花呢的外套配格子花呢的衬里好看吗?

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REF.1:原文引用自Peter Norvig的私人博客, 网址如下:

http://www.norvig.com/performance-review.html

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