[Education is my second passion in life. It has become so not only because I did not have a very satisfactory experience myself when I was in the schools during the Cultural Revaluation, but also the comparisons I have been able to make while our children grow up in the UK. ]

When I ask my children how they are getting on in the school, I do it with the intention of knowing if they are okay or need any help. But every so often, I get the “told off” from them by hearing this: “Mum, please stop being nosy!”

To be fair, they are right. Independency is one of the basics of life and it starts from being left alone and getting on with one’s own business. Too much caring is not always good and by saying so, I mean too much physical and mental looking after. As parents, we have learnt from our children’s nursery days to let them get dressed themselves, feed at their own pace. Later we have also realized that we ought to let them look after their mental wellbeing too and most importantly, to learn from their own mistakes.

A child needs to have the opportunities to figure out things for her/himself and gets prepared for the hardship that lies ahead. If not, s/he may grow up with many default problems and run into all kinds of troubles later on. One thing that I have noticed is that in the UK and many other European countries, it is very rare that a child is brought up by the grandparents unless the parents themselves are not around (dead or in prison/hospital). Usually, the grandmas and grandpas do spend a lot of time with their grandchildren, especially during the school holidays but they hardly ever take over the full responsibilities from the parents of educating and disciplining the children. I guess it would be really hard for the grandparents to get a child mentally prepared for his/her life when there is an age gap of more than 50 years in between in this fast changing world. It would have been too much of a task for the old and un-fair to the young.

Like independency, another important issue is to get the children trained up in every aspect of life as much as possible. To pay respect to ownership, be aware of other’s feelings and play the games by the rules are all part of the training at the beginning of one’s life. In many good schools here, there are so much effort and attention put into these issues and I believe they are contributing a great deal to the so-called good manners of individuals when they become men and women. 

(To be continued)

Other related reading:

Kids and Education (V) – Charity Days