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让科学网读者笑一下:比尔-盖次挑选的惩罚方式

已有 5374 次阅读 2008-10-21 17:21 |个人分类:生活点滴| 让科学网读者笑一下

 

比尔-盖次挑选的惩罚方式

 

刘进平译,英语原文见译文后

 

 

撒旦(魔鬼)招呼比尔·盖次说“欢迎你盖次先生,我们一直在等你呢。这里将是你永恒的家,你一生自私、贪婪、说谎。现在我的心情不错,我会很仁慈的,我给你三个地方任你挑选,然后将你永远关起来。”

撒旦带比尔到一个火海边,里边有千百万可怜的灵魂在备受折磨和煎熬。然后又带他到一个巨大的体育馆,里面有上千人被饿狮追逐和吞噬。最后,撒旦带他到一个小屋子外,屋间里面桌上有一瓶上好的酒。让比尔高兴的是,角落里还有一台电脑。比尔毫不犹豫地说,“我就选这个地方。”

“好”,撒旦说。撒旦让比尔走进去,就把门锁起来。

撒旦转身的时候,正好碰上卢西福(Lucifer*卢西福(Lucifer叫起来,“那是比尔-盖次!你为什么给他最好的地方?”

撒旦偷笑说,“那间是人人都想要。”

“酒瓶有个洞。”

“那电脑呢?”

    “是视窗95的呢!” 撒旦笑道。

“不过少了三个键。”

“少了那三个?”

CtrlAltDelete键。”

 

    注释* 饕餮(Beelzebul)、贪婪(Mammon)、淫欲(Asmodeus)、怠惰(Belphegor)、骄傲(Lucifer)、嫉妒(Leviathan)、愤怒(Satan)七种罪行是《圣经》中讲的人类的七宗原罪。

 

 

Bill Gates picks his own punishment

 

Satan greets him: "welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill gates!" Cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The bottle has a hole in it!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got windows 95!" Laughed Satan.

"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, alt and delete." (自Lycos网论坛)

 

 



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