墨菲法则诸变体

武夷山

墨菲法则1.0版本（THE PRIME AXIOM: In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong, will.）是：在科学活动的任何领域，凡有可能出错的，都一定会出错。

博主举例：既然油门和刹车都用脚踩，那肯定有该踩刹车却踩了油门的时候。

以下是墨菲法则的不同变体。

 2.  If the possibility exists of several things going wrong, the one that

      will go wrong is the one that will do the most damage.

如果几件事都可能出错，首先出错的往往是会造成最大损失的那一桩。

 3.  Everything will go wrong at one time.

      3.1 That time is always when you least expect it.

万事总会在某个时候出错。

那个时候就是你最想不到的时候。

 4.  If nothing can go wrong, something will.

即使万事都不会出问题，某事也会出问题。

 5.  Nothing is as easy as it looks.

没有任何事情是表面看上去那么简单容易。

 6.  Everything takes longer than you think.

完成任何事的时间都超出你的估计。

 7.  Left to themselves, things always go from bad to worse.

放任自流，事情只会越变越糟。

 8.  Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

老天爷总是站在内在缺陷那一边。

 9.  Given the most inappropriate time for something to go wrong, that's

      when it will occur.

出事总出在最不该出事的时候。

 10.  Mother Nature is a bitch.

      10.1 The universe is not indifferent to intelligence, it is actively

            hostile to it.

自然母亲真是狗娘养的。

宇宙不是视智慧为刍狗，它简直就是与智慧作对。

 11.  If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

      something.

如果一切似乎都运转正常，那你肯定明显忽视了什么。

 12.  If in any problem you find yourself doing an immense amount of work,

      the answer can be obtained by simple inspection.

如果你为解决某问题投入了无尽精力，那可以肯定，解决方案本可以是一目了然就发现的。

 13.  Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to  make it complex and wonderful.

可以把一样东西做得复杂精致，就别把它做得简单高效。

 14.  If it doesn't fit, use a bigger hammer.

如果钉子不合适这个位置，就用大锤子来把它砸下去。

 15.  In an instrument or device characterized by a number of plus-or-minus  errors, the total error will be the sum of all the errors adding in the same direction.

一件仪器或装置若可能在两个方向上出错，那实际发生的错误总和一定是所有错误都发生在同一个方向上累加而得，而不是某些正负误差相互抵消。

 16.  In any given calculation, the fault will never be placed if more than   one person is involved.

如果不止一个人参与计算，那肯定弄不清是谁算错了。

      16.1 In any given discovery, the credit will never be properly placed  if more than one person is involved.

如果不止一个人参与了一项科学发现，那各人的贡献量肯定分配不好。

 17.  All warranty and guarantee clauses become invalid upon payment of the  final invoice.

开具最终发票之时，所有保修包换条款立刻失效。

 18.  Murphy's Law: "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one  of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it."

如果有不止两种方式来做某事，其中一种方式会导致灾难，那肯定会有人采用这种方式。

博主补充一条：

19. Whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first.

无论你想做什么事，首先得做另外一件事。

在中国的环境下，举个例子：你请求领导解决你的一个生活困难，答曰需要“研究”一下，那你就得赶紧“烟酒”孝敬一下。:)