This is a message from the government of The Netherlands.

Dear Mr. President, welcome to this introduction video about The Netherlands. It’s gonna be a great video. Its gonna be absolutely fantastic. Our founding father was William of Orange, who fought against the Spanish. The Spanish were total scumbags. They fought against us for 80 years, but they couldn’t beat us. Couldn’t do it. Total losers. They’re all dead now by the way.

We speak Dutch. It’s the best language in Europe. We’ve got all the best words. All the other languages failed. Danish – total disaster. German is not even a real language. It’s fake. It’s a fake language. We’ve got Ponypark Slagharen, which is got to be the best ponypark in the world. It’s true. They’re the best pony’s, they are. You can ride them. You can date them, you can grab’em by the pony, it’s fantastic.

This is Afsluitdijk. It’s a great, great wall that we built to protect us from all the water from Mexico. We built an entire ocean, okay. An entire ocean between us and Mexico. Nobody builds oceans better than we do. This ocean it is so big, you can even see it from the moon. And we made the Mexicans pay for it. It’s true. You’ve got the Trump Towers we’ve got Lee Towers. He would’ve loved to sing at your inauguration. Amazing voice. Gotta love him.

We’ve got Madurodam, which is the greatest the greatest miniature town in the world. Its great. Well it’s tiny but it’s great. And the squares they are so small, you don’t even need many people to fill them it’s great.

This is Gerry Eickhof. In December we’ve got this scandalous tradition of Black Pete. It’s the most offensive, the most racist thing you’ve ever seen. You’ll love it, it’s great. We also have a disabled politician for you to make fun of. Her name is Jetta Klijnsma. She is from the ministry of Silly Walks. You can do a great impersonation of her. Can’t wait to see it.

People tell us, very important people, they tell us we’ve got the best tax evasion system god ever created. It’s just unbelievable. You should tell your sons to put all your sorry, their businesses here. You’ll pay no taxes at all. Zero! It’s ridiculous! And last but not least, we’ve got a great, great, great dependency on the United States. It’s huge. If you screw NATO, you’re gonna make our problems great again.

They’re gonna be huge, they’re gonna be enormous. It’s true. Please don’t. We totally understand it’s going to be America first, but can we just say: The Netherlands second?

Is that ok? Thank you for watching and best wishes. We’ve got the best wishes in the Netherlands. They’re great. It’s true.

这是荷兰政府的一个信息。

亲爱的总裁先生，欢迎来到这个介绍视频关于荷兰。这将是一个伟大的视频。它会是绝对梦幻般的。我们的创始人是奥兰治的威廉，与西班牙人作战。西班牙语是总scumbags。他们对我们打了80年，但他们不能击败我们。不能做。总输家。他们都死了。

我们说荷兰语。它是欧洲最好的语言。我们有最好的话。所有其他语言失败。丹麦 - 总灾害。德语甚至不是真正的语言。这是假的。这是一种假的语言。我们有Ponypark Slagharen，这是世界上最好的ponypark。这是真的。他们是最好的小马，他们是。你可以骑他们。你可以约会他们，你可以抓住小马，这是太棒了。

这是Afsluitdijk。这是一个伟大的，伟大的墙，我们建立保护我们从墨西哥的所有水。我们建了一个整个海洋，好吧。我们和墨西哥之间的整个海洋。没有人比我们更好地建造海洋。这个海洋这么大，你甚至可以从月亮看到它。我们让墨西哥人支付它。这是真的。你有Trump塔我们有李塔。他会喜欢在你的就职典礼上唱歌。惊人的声音。得爱他。

我们有Madurodam，这是世界上最大的最大的微型城镇。这很棒。它很小，但它是伟大的。而且他们这么小的广场，你甚至不需要很多人填补他们是伟大的。

这是Gerry Eickhof。在12月，我们有黑皮特的这个可耻的传统。这是最冒犯的，你见过的最种族主义的事情。你会爱上它，这是伟大的。我们也有一个残疾的政客，让你去玩。她的名字是Jetta Klijnsma。她来自愚蠢的步行部。你可以做一个伟大的模仿她。不能等待看到它。

人们告诉我们，非常重要的人，他们告诉我们，我们有上帝创造的最好的逃税制度。这是令人难以置信的。你应该告诉你的儿子把你所有的遗憾，他们的业务在这里。你不会交税。零！这太可笑了！最后但并非最不重要的是，我们对美国有着巨大的，伟大的，巨大的依赖。它超大。如果你拧紧北约，你会让我们的问题再次大。

他们会是巨大的，他们会是巨大的。这是真的。请不要。我们完全理解它会是美国第一，但我们可以说：荷兰第二？

这可以吗？感谢您的观看和最好的祝福。我们在荷兰有最美好的祝愿。他们很棒。这是真的。