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热度 1上传于 2013-6-12 22:27 (181 KB)

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JANEWANGJK55 发表了评论   2013-6-12 22:27
爱和文艺都是体力活

文/艾明雅

2007年的一个深秋之夜,大四。我送一个室友去火车站。她搭凌晨的T2,长沙到北京,去看她远在人大的男友。两人在网上相识,所有的精力与路费都花在中国铁路。加之那时候,学校的最后一班公车只开到十点,我担心她一人要在火车站从十点半坐到一点,于是坐在火车站陪她。我还记得那天晚上她穿的是一条浅蓝色的牛仔裤,来自真维斯打折货129元两条,我和她一人穿一条。候车大厅那时候还开着冷气,后来与她依偎在一起,缩在冰冷的候车椅上,用一件开衫抱着彼此的手臂。

约莫到了十二点钟,我实在是困不住了,她说,你睡吧。于是我躺在她大大的行李包上睡了——一个身高160体重45公斤的姑娘,包里装的是约莫二十斤重的湖南特产,都是带给她男友室友的。

到了凌晨三点,她上车了,我心疼那三十块钱的打车费。所以在火车站又坐到六点,然后穿过蒙蒙清晨薄雾,挤上第一班公车回了学校,倒头就睡。醒来发现她发给我的短信,说,辛苦你。

如今想起来,这样的日子,是如何都无法再过了。因为有车,所以不需要赶十点的末班车去火车站坐几个小时。因为不缺那点小钱,哪怕等车,也不会吝啬在旁边的酒店开个钟点房躺着。而当年的这个吃泡面省钱坐二十几个小时硬座去看北京男友的姑娘,已经变成了“现在出差尼玛凡超过三个小时的车我都必须要买卧铺”。

这是她前几天发给我的短信,我看见了哈哈大笑。我说真后悔没把我当年那个诺鸡鸭的手机留着,那条三个字“辛苦你”的短信,简直是个微小说。

上个星期,我在电台的节目里突然说了这样一段话。人什么时候开始觉得自己变得成熟,疲惫,变成生活的老油条的?就是从发现很多你以前易如反掌的精神生活,突然间变成体力活的时候。你会突然发现,很多事情开始力不从心。24岁的姑娘不相信26岁的姑娘所说“身体一天不如一天”,说你不过比我大两岁。我说那两岁意味着比你多365*2倍的辐射污染还有伤心与难过。不信,你和你十八岁的时候比一比,去熬夜带妆唱个通宵K试试。

爱情也是一样。坐二十几个小时火车去看男友的日子打死她都不会再做。当年的研究生男人已经成了爹,她不是孩子妈。一群姑娘们变成了老堂客,你看着觉得异常欢乐。她们不敢生气,不敢吵架,因为伤肺又伤肝。她们宁愿打牌,洗脚,瑜伽,做马杀鸡,也不愿意在大半夜与输钱的老公纠缠。我有个女友,因保养有方,30岁被25岁男生追求,说扛不住,他要星期六到江边去看烟火!

我们哈哈大笑,因为只有我们才懂这个暗语。周末开车去江边看烟火,光是找停车位,第二天就要做颈椎按摩。

你以为那是退让了爱情,不,那是自保了身体。因为,身体已经不允许。

上个月,我和M先生吵了一个很严重的架,直接后果就是脑后的两根筋非常疼痛,肝郁,额头长痘,几近毁容,吓得我迅速调整,还吃了五付中药。他是气得几天便秘,上火,有天跟我说扛不住了要去找洗脚师傅做足疗。临了,我和一个朋友说起此事,她哈哈大笑,从床上跳起来丢给我一个刮痧板,拍着胸口说:下次吵完架,把胸口抹点精油刮下痧,我是听美容院老板说的,刮这条经络解肝郁。

我一试,果然胸口一片紫红。我傻眼了,跟她说:吵不“起”架了。尼玛吵完了,还要看中医。

于是,我带着胸口的这一片紫红痧,老老实实地过了半个月。每次想要暴跳如雷的时候,对自己说,压压火压压火,不要生气不要生气,不然要看中医划不来。也正在此时,有读者跟我说“雅姐,你老了,变得慈眉善目起来”,我只能苦笑。

上上个星期,是我的夜班。熬完那一个星期之后,浑身虚脱。这个星期,除了老实睡觉,什么都不想做。总感觉身体被透支的睡眠死活都补不回来。不爱看书不爱看报,所有费脑子的事情一概不想做,一部《神断狄仁杰》一部《绅士的品格》都能让我痴迷了一个星期。有人喊我打麻将,我欣欣然驱车前往,打到十二点,却死活不能再熬下去,揣着赢得钱在一片批判声中仓皇而逃。开车行走在这座城市的夜,我突然发现来来往往的车辆似乎在秋风里渐少,这座城市渐生秋意,我在这样的秋意中缓慢行走,聊以度日。我不知该是以如此闲淡为耻,或是为傲。还是,大家走得都很快,都很累,早早回家睡了。

一愣神,想起你说的那句话:每个太太,在生活闲淡下来后,总要找个痴迷至死的爱好。我想那爱好只要不需要费脑,什么都是可以的。不要发短信,直接打电话,因为累。不要长时间写字,因为累。

2007年,二十岁出头的年纪陪着室友,在寒意渐生的深秋,坐几个小时的冷板凳等待一辆爱情的火车。从身体到心灵,精神奕奕,不知疲惫。短短六年,一个星期的熬夜,便可以将人拖到悲悯顿生。我想想我这几年,还好,没有亏待自己,至少依然记得例假之前一个星期不吃凉的。虽说社会虐了我也是千百遍,我依然还是待我自己如初恋。我想我内心的希望,不过是那么多与精神有关的付出,不要那么快就变成了体力活。

我的一个男性朋友,才28岁,说新交的女朋友公司太远,自己连接送都觉得疲惫。笑着跟我说:果然到了谈恋爱是体力活的年纪了。

我想,那是一开始,以为资本,透支了很多热情吧。

而我自己,这几年,养成那样多周而复始的习惯——每日清晨固定的那杯盐水,临睡前那杯固定的蜂蜜。每周两次的锻炼,两次的银耳汤,例假后一个星期的阿胶。还有,最最伤心难过的时候,就着电影版的欲望都市2,看到凯莉裹着大衣在平安夜去陪米兰达的时候大哭,然后一切安好。我其实觉得有些惭愧——说到底,爱也好不爱也好,一个女人最爱的终究只有自己。如同萨曼莎五十岁的时候要离开那个明星男友,因为,太舍不得那样委屈
自己的心意。“终究发现最爱的只有自己”。

这就是我为什么那样坚持,一个女人的老去绝对不是从什么鬼心灵开始,而是从你对待自己身体的态度开始的原因。也就是为什么坚持十几岁的时候,不把自己交给一个老男人的原因,因为早早地看到了他们打球时候的疲惫,眼里的无奈,觉得他们会吸掉自己青春的热情。他们无心,但是,这是事实。珍重青春,即使那时候,又穷又傻。当爱情不是体力活的时候,好好爱。过几年,你力不从心。

这就是为什么,你总是嘲笑那些中年人的活动。笑他们只知道农家乐,只知道洗脚打牌,泡吧嫌烟味。唱K说响天雷。那些你看起来俗气得要死之事,种花养鱼,都愿意做了再做,不嫌烦闷。因为只有时光才知道,这样的活动,于他们的身心已是再适合不过。所以只有过来人才懂得,一腔热情以为精神饱满的萝莉,如何懂得大叔从身体到精神全线下垂只能通过萝莉来获得成就感的伤悲。你听不懂他打的电话,他学不会你喜欢的歌。你也大可以说自己才二十几岁,但是这个时代,提前消耗掉的,又岂止是二十几岁的人呢。

所以我会叮嘱我的老闺蜜,少熬夜,少写字。她说,才华渐退。我说没有关系。即使有天,变成一个只会打麻将的女人,我也愿意陪你做一个幸福的女人,20岁的时候我们就说好了的。只要岁月静好,身体无恙,一切都不可怕。
JANEWANGJK55 发表了评论   2013-6-13 23:31
Three Things I’ve Learned From Warren Buffett
June 12, 2013

I’m looking forward to sharing posts from time to time about things I’ve learned in my career at Microsoft and the Gates Foundation. (I also post frequently on my blog.)

Last month, I went to Omaha for the annual Berkshire Hathaway shareholders meeting. It’s always a lot of fun, and not just because of the ping-pong matches and the newspaper-throwing contest I have with Warren Buffett. It’s also fun because I get to learn from Warren and gain insight into how he thinks.

Here are three things I’ve learned from Warren over the years:

1. It’s not just about investing.

The first thing people learn from Warren, of course, is how to think about investing. That’s natural, given his amazing track record. Unfortunately, that’s where a lot of people stop, and they miss out on the fact that he has a whole framework for business thinking that is very powerful. For example, he talks about looking for a company’s moat—its competitive advantage—and whether the moat is shrinking or growing. He says a shareholder has to act as if he owns the entire business, looking at the future profit stream and deciding what it’s worth. And you have to be willing to ignore the market rather than follow it, because you want to take advantage of the market’s mistakes—the companies that have been underpriced.

I have to admit, when I first met Warren, the fact that he had this framework was a real surprise to me. I met him at a dinner my mother had put together. On my way there, I thought, “Why would I want to meet this guy who picks stocks?” I thought he just used various market-related things—like volume, or how the price had changed over time—to make his decisions. But when we started talking that day, he didn’t ask me about any of those things. Instead he started asking big questions about the fundamentals of our business. “Why can’t IBM do what Microsoft does? Why has Microsoft been so profitable?” That’s when I realized he thought about business in a much more profound way than I’d given him credit for.

2. Use your platform.

A lot of business leaders write letters to their shareholders, but Warren is justly famous for his. Partly that’s because his natural good humor shines through. Partly it’s because people think it will help them invest better (and they’re right). But it’s also because he’s been willing to speak frankly and criticize things like stock options and financial derivatives. He’s not afraid to take positions, like his stand on raising taxes on the rich, that run counter to his self-interest. Warren inspired me to start writing my own annual letter about the foundation’s work. I still have a ways to go before mine is as good as Warren’s, but it’s been helpful to sit down once a year and explain the results we’re seeing, both good and bad.

3. Know how valuable your time is.

No matter how much money you have, you can’t buy more time. There are only 24 hours in everyone’s day. Warren has a keen sense of this. He doesn’t let his calendar get filled up with useless meetings. On the other hand, he’s very generous with his time for the people he trusts. He gives his close advisers at Berkshire his phone number, and they can just call him up and he’ll answer the phone.

Although Warren makes a point of meeting with dozens of university classes every year, not many people get to ask him for advice on a regular basis. I feel very lucky in that regard: The dialogue has been invaluable to me, and not only at Microsoft. When Melinda and I started our foundation, I turned to him for advice. We talked a lot about the idea that philanthropy could be just as impactful in its own way as software had been. It turns out that Warren’s brilliant way of looking at the world is just as useful in attacking poverty and disease as it is in building a business. He’s one of a kind.

Photo: Bill Gates
http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130612065727-251749025-three-things-i-ve-learned-from-warren-buffett?trk=eml-mktg-celeb-bg-link1
xintianyuan 发表了评论   2013-12-22 09:45
哈哈,看图有感,再送上一句:我欲仰天长啸,气吞山河。

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