《甜甜花絮：人生问题》
Posted by: 立委
Date: September 18, 2007 12:26PM

世俗家庭的一个坏处就是父母在儿童早期教育过程中，面临人生的根本问题时无法解答的困境。生死就是这样一个问题。甜甜很小时候就不断问这个问题：I don’t want to die. Will I die? 我只好支吾过去：you are young and healthy. Don’t ask silly questions. 她有时候就自己安慰自己：yes, there is still a long way，why bother? And maybe some long life medicine will be invented by the time I grow up. （想起我小时候也常幻想人类终会发明长生不老的药物。）我不置可否，心里想，要是宗教家庭就好了，一切都有现成的答案，没有必要讨论这样的问题。可是，有时候，她却要进一步追问：Dad, but can you and Mom have enough time for the long life medicine? I don’t want you to die. 我只好安慰她说：we will not die. We will watch you grow. 她说：promise? 我说：promise. 回头跟领导说，我们一定要顾惜身体，至少要好好地培养她上大学，找到自己的家。

我觉得，在孩子还不能理解人生问题的时候，告诉所谓事实是不明智的。 这就好象在孩子满心喜欢等待圣诞老人的礼物时，硬要说明圣诞老人的子虚乌有一样。 有些事情需要一辈子去慢慢理解，包括生死问题。 我最近还在想，如果上帝要惩罚一个人，就让他永远不死。永远不死的可怕，比死亡更甚。

穷富也是一个老问题。甜甜总问：are we rich? 我说: no. 又问: are we poor? 我说：no, we are just normal，middle class. 她说：I get it. We are not rich and not poor, we are prosperous, right?

what is properous? 我问。

Prosperous is on the way to be rich, but not rich yet.

关于金钱，我只灌输两点:

第一点是不能奢侈和浪费，money does not grow from trees, money is earned by hard work. 甜甜常常把看来的笑话拿来说：Dad, money is made of paper and paper comes from tree. So technically speaking, money DOES grow from trees. 实际生活中，她有点 over-spoiled, 要求大多满足，家里的玩具堆积如山，尤其是她喜欢的plush toys, 猫啊狗啊，大大小小有几百条了。她自己也常说，I feel guilty that I wasted you too much money on toys, but I love toys.

第二点是，money is important, but money is not everything. For example, money cannot buy friendship and money does not guarantee a happy life. 她似懂非懂，点头认同。

今天外出，在车上闲聊，甜甜连珠炮一样的一番关于生死和穷富的议论让我大吃一惊。看样子孩子没有停止思考，书本，电视，还有家庭教育也有潜移默化的作用，总之比我在她这个岁数的时候想得深入多了。我赞说：great points, 现实录如下。

1 on living forever

Many people talk about living forever. I think it’s really silly to think of living forever. What’s the good of it? Then you will be Nature’s historian. You will only live in your memories. Kids will laugh at you. It’s much better to live and die, and meet your family and friends in the heaven, rather than live forever, having to watch all your relatives and firends die before your eyes. Then what is the point of living without family and friends?

2. on being rich

Everyone wants to be a billionaire. I would rather stay normal and prosperous. Being poor is not good, but being rich is not good either. What’s the good of being rich? You will lose your goals. Everything will be taken for granted. You will not be grateful for anything. And it does not feel good either when others are struggling and you get anything you want. Things are more valuable when they are earned. They become meaningless if they are always yours.