waterlilyqd的个人博客分享 http://blog.sciencenet.cn/u/waterlilyqd 翻译--编辑--信息分析从平凡中见神奇! Journal of Mountain Science科学网博客

博文

幽默:The New Romance - Husband 1.0! 新浪漫--老公1.0版

已有 3257 次阅读 2011-4-7 16:50 |个人分类:翻译实践|系统分类:生活其它| 搞笑, 操作系统, 老公

Upgrading To Husband 1.0   从男友5.0版升级到老公1.0版以后

 

翻译(英译中): 邱敦莲

 

Dear Tech Support: 亲爱的技术支持:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

最近我将软件男友5.0升级到老公1.0后,发现新程序对财务软件进行了修改,严重地限制了对衣橱、鲜花、珠宝等应用程序的使用,而这些程序在男友5.0版中运行正常,而产品说明书中也没有提到过会出现这种现象。

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3 and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!

另外,老公1.0版自动卸载晚宴舞会7.5、游艇2.3、夜间歌剧6.1等很多有价值的程序,强制安装了扑克1.3、星期六足球5.0、高尔夫2.4、处处乱作一团4.5,对话8.0再也不能运行,并且一运行就使系统崩溃。在任何情况下它都会运行换尿片14.1或者打扫房间2.6。我曾试图采用唠叨5.3修复老公1.0,但最终效果却非常有限。垦求得到你的帮助!

Sincerely, XXX 真挚的XXX

——————下面是技术支持的回信

Dear XXX: 亲爱的XXX

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.

这是妇女们常常抱怨的问题,但是,这多半是由于概念理解错误所造成的。许多女士将程序由男友5.0升级到老公1.0以后不清楚男友5.0只是一款娱乐软件,而老公1.0是一个操作系统,其创建者在设计之初就是希望这款软件能够尽可能少地运行应用程序。

Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 isn't designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.

另外,你不能清除老公1.0并使其回复到男友5.0,因为程序上没有使老公1.0回复到男友5.0的设计。你的操作系统内的隐藏操作文件还会使男友5.0模仿老公1.0,从而使你什么好处都得不到。

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are commonand a normal part of Husband 1.0.

一旦安装了老公1.0,你就不能从系统中卸载、删除、清除这个程序。任何新的程序只能一年安装一次,这是由于老公1.0严重限制存贮容量。老公1.0出现错误信息的情况很普遍,并且这是老公1.0的常态。

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.

为了拼命玩一些过去喜欢的应用程序或者使新的应用程序能够运行,一些女士试图安装男友6.0或者老公2.0,结果她们会遇到比安装老公1.0更多的问题。

Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You'll notice that this program runs very poorly and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0 and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.

请阅读使用手册中有关“警告:离婚/孩子支持”这一部分。你会发现该程序运行很差,并且与心碎1.3绑定。建议你保留老公1.0并摸清这套奇怪而不合逻辑的操作系统的怪癖。

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.

一旦安装老公1.0,我本人还建议你阅读有关“一般性伙伴关系错误(GPFsGeneral Partnership Faults)” (译者注:与计算机的“一般性保护错误”GPFs- General Protection Error的首字母缩写相同)这个章节。这是老公1.0最精彩的特征,这是母公司将之作为操作系统的一部分,秘密地加装的。

Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults & problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".

必须假设老公1.0会对所有错误和所有问题负全部责任,无论错误的根源是什么。为了激活这一伟大特征,请输入指令“C:我认为你是爱我的。”

Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should run applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

有时,在输入该指令时必须同时运行眼泪6.2程序。这时,老公1.0应运行道歉12.3,鲜花/巧克力7.8应用程序。

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C: I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0.

小贴士:请一定避免过度使用该特征!过度使用会造成额外的更严重的GPFs(一般性伙伴关系错误),最终有可能你必须输入指令“C:我道歉”才能使系统恢复正常。过度使用还会使老公1.0变成脾气暴躁和沉默2.5,更糟的会变成啤酒6.0

Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!

啤酒6.0是一个非常差的程序,会使老公1.0创建啤酒肚文件和酣声如雷文件,而这些文件均极难删除。请遵循该技术要点,以省却你的烦恼!

Just remember! The system will run smoothly and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

请记住:该系统会运行良好,并且承担所有的GPFs。正是因为该系统的良好特征,该系统只会偶尔运行男友5.0曾运行的所有应用程序。老公1.0虽然是一个强大的程序,但是,其存贮有限,并且不能快速学习新的应用程序。

Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.

请考虑购买附加软件以提高该系统软件的运行性能。我个人推荐采用热食3.0、女式贴身内衣裤5.3、耐心10.1。这些附加软件合并使用,会使老公1.0运行更加顺畅。

After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you'll find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

经过几年的使用以后,老公1.0会变得非常熟悉,你会发现该程序具有很多宝贵的内嵌特征,如修东西2.1、幸福缠绵4.2、最佳男友7.6

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

最后,给一点忠告:在任何情况下请别安装丈母娘1.0。该程序不是一个支持程序,将会对操作系统造成选择性关闭。丈母娘1.0卸载以前,老公1.0将只运行钓鱼9.4和捕猎5.2

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

希望这些对你有所帮助。感谢你选择安装老公1.0,技术支持部的所有员工衷心地祝愿你来年好运。我们相信你会慢慢地学会充分享受该款产品。

Tech Support 技术支持部

 



http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-314423-430553.html

上一篇:幽默:Office Rules ! 办公室准则
下一篇:Confusing! 困惑

4 刘全慧 武夷山 袁贤讯 武京治

发表评论 评论 (4 个评论)

数据加载中...
扫一扫,分享此博文

Archiver|手机版|科学网 ( 京ICP备07017567号-12 )

GMT+8, 2021-3-7 01:51

Powered by ScienceNet.cn

Copyright © 2007- 中国科学报社

返回顶部