Reaching out across the Web .. ...分享 http://blog.sciencenet.cn/u/zuojun Zuojun Yu, physical oceanographer, freelance English editor

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科技英语写作基础(系列):分析abstract on aerosol pollution

已有 929 次阅读 2019-3-27 08:22 |个人分类:Scientific Writing|系统分类:教学心得| 科技英语写作

分析的目的是为了提高科技英语写作水平,不是针对作者。

今天换一种方式,请你来解说。

我用黄色标出我觉得“有问题”的地方。你看看“错”在哪里。

(答案在后面) 

Enhanced land–sea warming contrast

elevates aerosol pollution in a warmer world

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41558-019-0401-4

 

[1] Many climate models simulate an increase in anthropogenic aerosol species in response to warming1, particularly over the Northern Hemisphere mid-latitudes during June, July and August. 

 

[2] Recently, it has been argued that this increase in anthropogenic aerosols can be linked to a decrease in wet removal associated with reduced precipitation2, but the mechanisms remain uncertain. 

 

[3] Here, using a state-of-the-art climate model (the Community Atmosphere Model version 5), we expand on this notion to demonstrate that the enhanced aerosol burden and hydrological changes are related to a robust climate change phenomenon—the land–sea warming contrast3,4

 

[4] Enhanced land warming is associated with continental reductions in lower-tropospheric humidity that drivedecreases in low clouds—particularly large scale(stratus) clouds—which, in turn, lead to reduced large-scale precipitation and aerosol wet removal. 

 

[5] Idealized model simulations further show that muting the land–sea warming contrast weakens these hydrological changes, thereby suppressing the aerosol increase. 

 

[6] Moreover, idealized simulations that only feature land warming yield enhanced continental aridity and an increase in aerosol burden. 

 

[7] Thus, unless anthropogenic emission reductions occur, our results add confidence that a warmer world will be associated with enhanced aerosol pollution.



如果你想提高科技英语写作能力,请跟我来...

http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-306792-1146577.html


下面是我的“挑毛病”结果:

Enhanced land–sea warming contrast

elevates aerosol pollution in a warmer world

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41558-019-0401-4

评论:warming contrast是对的,但是,实质是temperature contrast

 

 

[1] Many climate models simulate an increase in anthropogenic aerosol species in response to warming1, particularly over the Northern Hemisphere mid-latitudes during June, July and August. 

评论:我会用during June---August

 

[2] Recently, it has been argued that this increase in anthropogenic aerosols can be linked to a decrease in wet removal associated with reduced precipitation2, but the mechanisms remain uncertain. 

评论:这句话与上一句衔接得比较“硬”。我会用This increase has been linked to …

 

[3] Here, using a state-of-the-art climate model (the Community Atmosphere Model version 5), we expand on this notion todemonstrate that the enhanced aerosol burden and hydrological changes are related to a robust climate change phenomenon—the land–sea warming contrast3,4

评论:我会删expand on this notion to

 

[4] Enhanced land warming is associated with continental reductions in lower-tropospheric humidity that drivedecreases in low clouds—particularly large scale(stratus) clouds—which, in turn, lead to reduced large-scale precipitation and aerosol wet removal. 

评论:这里的large scale(stratus) clouds应该用large-scale (stratus) clouds,尤其是后面用了large-scale precipitationBe consistent!

that drivedecreases in low clouds是定continental reductions,我会用which cause decreases in low clouds”

 

[5] Idealized model simulations further show that muting the land–sea warming contrast weakens these hydrological changes, thereby suppressing the aerosol increase. 

 

[6] Moreover, idealized simulations that only feature land warming yield enhanced continental aridity and an increase in aerosol burden. 

评论:我看不懂这个与【4】有什么差别。

 

[7] Thus, unless anthropogenic emission reductions occur, our results add confidence that a warmer world will be associated with enhanced aerosol pollution.

评论:unless anthropogenic emission reductions occur有点怪,我会用unless we reduce anthropogenic emissions

 




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