咏开放获取的打油诗

武夷山（译）

出生于匈牙利、现任教于加拿大的认知科学家Stevan Harnad教授是开放获取（OA）运动的领袖人物之一，是一个影响力很大的OA论坛的长期坛主。他11月1日发表了一首诙谐的打油诗，概括了反对OA人士的各种主张。我试译如下：

我常想：OA更像雨衣科学，

而不像火箭科学。

其基本想法超级简单：

现在这个时代什么都要互联，

你的科研影响力正在衰减，

赶快让论文上网，供人们免费查看！

这个道理就像下述例子那么浅显，

可是二十年来，对OA的响应实在迟缓：

瞧啊，孩子，马上就要下雨，

该披上雨衣……

OA不可能派（以下简称“不成”）：这是违反规律的――

OA不合适派（以下简称“不愿”）：我没有看见乌云有多密。

不成：品牌受到威胁――

不愿：我淋湿了才痛快。

不成：挑哪件雨衣穿？

不愿：我的钱包要变扁。

不成：雨衣也会穿成破褂――

不愿：旱灾的风险在加大。
不成：OA添了太多的麻烦――

不愿：下雨对您是好事一件。

不成：我读不懂那么多说明――

不愿：我需要更便宜的药品。
不成：标准遭到威胁――

不愿：风险危及我们的行业。

不成：这是气象员的需要――

不愿：雨实在是太大了。

不成：天气看来不妙――

不愿：让我们等待天空盾牌生效。

不成：树儿也需要好好准备――

不愿：否则甘霖不给它们恩惠。

不成：树木没有签标――

不愿：需要天气报告。

不成：我们的职业生涯面临危险――

不愿：抢了人家药剂师的饭碗。

不成：搞不好会脱水――

不愿：怎么样我也不做第一个替死鬼。

不成：穿哪一件才安全？

不愿：还是等天气自己改变。

不成：雨衣开始破损――

不愿：扣掉医生的薪金。

不成：雨伞也坏了――

不愿：做父母的太过分了。

不成：全球变干――

不愿：破坏了大气圈。

不成：质量没有保证――

不愿：天气报告谎报天情。

不成：有问题的雨衣统统召回――

不愿：雨衣上没有一滴水。

不成：这几个摁扣我扣不上――

不愿：把其他人擦干了没商量。

不成：老天爷该着我们湿透――

不愿：干燥程度还不够！

博主：以上每一句话都代表了一种对OA的反对态度或消极态度，而且，每种观点都有文献出处。这就更难翻译了。下面是打油诗原文，哪位发现我的理解或翻译有问题，请不吝赐教。

附：原文

I've often reflected that OA is a lot closer to raincoat science than
rocket science.
http://openaccess.eprints.org/index.php?/archives/179-Raincoat-Science.html
The essential message is super-simple:

It's the online age
You're losing research impact...
Make it free online

About as deep and complex as the following -- and yet, for two
decades, the response has been Zeno's Paralysis:
http://eprints.ecs.soton.ac.uk/12094/

Look kids, it's raining
Time to put on your raincoats...

Can't: against the law --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#10.Copyright
Won't: no clouds I saw
Can't: branding's at risk --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#5.Certification
Won't: I must keep wet --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#27.Secrecy
Can't: which coat to choose? --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#23.Version
Won't: my pay I'll lose --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#35.Royalties
Can't: coats may go bad --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#3.Corruption
Won't: drought risk increased --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#28.Affordability
Can't: too much to do --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#34.Priorities
Won't: rain's good for you
Can't: can't read instrux --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#15.Readability
Won't: need cheaper meds --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#30.Rechanneling
Can't: standards at risk --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#7.Peer
Won't: risks towel biz --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#17.Publishers
Can't: weathermen's needs --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#19.Learned
Won't: there's too much rain --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#4.Navigation
Can't: the look's not right --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#16.Graphics
Won't: let's wait sky-shield --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#33.DigitaLibidoo
Can't: trees need their jobs --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#18.Libraries
Won't: might miss good drops --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#21.Serendipity
Can't: they have no tags --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#25.Mark-Up
Won't: need weathercasts --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#26.Classification
Can't: careers at risk --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#22.Tenure/Promotion
Won't: steals druggists' biz --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#24.Napster
Can't: could dehydrate
Won't: lest I'm not first --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#12.Priority
Can't: which safe to wear? --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#2.Authentication
Won't: wait for clime change --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#31.Waiting
Can't: raincoats decay --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#1.Preservation
Won't: cuts medics' pay --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#14.Capitalism
Can't: bankrupts brollies --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#8.Paying
Won't: parents' excess --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#20.University
Can't: global drying
Won't: disrupts climate --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#9.Downsizing
Can't: quality risk --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#6.Evaluation
Won't: false weathercasts --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#13.Censorship
Can't: risks coat recall --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#32.Poisoned
Won't: not wet at all --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#29.Sitting
Can't: can't fasten snaps -- http://eprints.ecs.soton.ac.uk/10688/
Won't: dries others up --
http://www.eprints.org/openaccess/self-faq/#11.Plagiarism
Can't: god meant us wet
Won't: dry's not enough -- http://bit.ly/cK2IN

 

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