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世间从此无老棒--北大90核兄弟送别陈昱

已有 7419 次阅读 2017-6-28 01:19 |个人分类:往事追忆|系统分类:人物纪事| 生命, 同学, 信念, 葬礼, 悼词


那天(2017.6.24)清晨的梦到她湖(Lake Mendota),水波浩渺,晨曦乍现。

  

殡仪馆外面,阳光明媚,绿草如茵,树木葱郁。

  

这是我在美国参加的唯一一次没有任何神职人员和宗教仪式的葬礼。一个无神论者去世了,无需牧师祷告,不要和尚念经。致悼词者包括陈昱生前好友、同学和他的母亲,她的音频令在座众人无不泪下。

  

陈刚

  

吴志刚

  

夏海东

  

卢卫国

  

周德来

  

张弛

  

李季

  

杨霖和王新

  

最后播放陈昱生平录像,追思会在歌曲Forever Young中结束。

  

灵堂门口摆放的鲜花,供遗容瞻仰者拿一枝献给陈昱。

  

陈昱的表妹和继姐(站立者)

  

王雨川、李波夫妇

  

卢卫国、陈明丽夫妇

  

张弛、郑丹丹夫妇

  

陈刚、王敏夫妇

  

夏海东

  

李季

  

唐仁杰

  

王新

  

宋犀云

  

灵柩闭合,开始转运。

   

Pallbearers

  

灵柩送至灵车。

  

在火葬场,即将火化。

  

诀别时刻

  

送入火炉

  

下午1:50,张弛按下启动键。四个小时之后,我们的陈昱将化作灰烬。

  

熊熊烈火,焚尽残躯。生亦何欢?死亦何苦?

喜乐悲愁,皆归尘土。随缘而来,随风而去。

  

傍晚时分,我们来到梦到她湖边的陈昱纪念亭。时大雨刚过,湖寂风冷。

  

90核物合影。前排右至左:陈刚,杨霖,张弛,李东乔,宋犀云;后排:周德来,王新,李季,吴志刚,卢卫国,唐仁杰,王雨川,夏海东。

  

北大校友合影。前排右至左:程军,阮洁,陈刚,杨霖,张弛,王小鹏,李东乔,宋犀云,牛卫东;后排:杨勃,周德来,王新,李季,吴志刚,卢卫国,唐仁杰,王雨川,郑杰,夏海东。

  

合影结束后,天空双虹浮现,那是老棒微笑着向我们致意。

  

夏海东和周德来

  

陈昱的墓地,在梦到她湖,梦诺娜湖(Lake Monona)和Wingra湖之间,绿野伴绿树在风中歌吟,白鸽随白帆于湖面荡漾,透过林立的墓碑,可以放眼远眺神明的宁静安详。真是一块埋人的好地方!

  

陈昱的表妹将他的骨灰盒以及一些遗物,放至小小的墓穴。我们依次献上鲜花,然后铲土埋葬,将清晨挖起的草皮盖好,浇水之后,墓地平平整整,与周围草地无异。

  

鲜花下面,安放着永远年轻的愿望。从此时间静止,草木继续荣枯。

是谁在说:“人时已尽,人世很长 / 我在中间应当休息……”

  

世间从此无老棒,只有老棒的传奇。

  

My Eulogy:

  

I still clearly remember the last time I met Chen Yu. It was exactly 20 years ago, June 24th, 1997, when I went to Beijing from my hometown to apply for a US visa. It was towards the end of the second year in our Master’s program in nuclear physics at Peking University, and about half of our undergraduate classmates were either in the US or going to the US over that summer. Later that afternoon, Chen Yu and two other classmates saw me off at a bus station near the Building of the Particle Accelerator. When the bus came, I bid them farewell and promised to “see you in the US”.

  

Finally, after 20 years, I see you, my friend and my classmate Chen Yu, here in the US.

  

But we cannot smoke together like before, when you showed off your skills of blowing perfect smoke rings, closely resembling the moon in the Weiming Lake. The wind has destroyed the mirrored moon and your smoke rings, long, long ago.

  

We cannot drink beer, red wine, or spirits together like before. Even drunk as a fiddler, you were still able to sing Flower Sacrifice and Sailing right on pitch. The sound of your songs have penetrated the time barrier separating our present from out past, when we were intoxicated by the dream and the passion.

  

We cannot run together any more. You were always trying to beat the speed of time, full of energy and youth, achieving everything as easily, smoothly, and promptly as running in Yanyuan every morning or night.

  

We cannot lift weights together any more. In that gym not far away from the Weiming Lake, how much sweat, laughter, and noise we had shed! You always tried to break your own records, inexhaustibly testing and approaching the limits of your body and spirit. I believe finally you have reached.

  

But what I regret the most is that we cannot talk together any more. We have discussed not only homework problems in math and physics, but also the deterministic chaos, the existence of supersymmetry, and the theory of unifying everything. We talked about loves, passions, and tears we went through during the brightest part of our lives. Your stories are as moving as those in classical novels we read and spoke about. In my reminiscence you particularly liked a short verse in the novel Gadfly written by Voynich:  

  

Then am I

A happy fly,

If I live,

Or if I die.

  

We also talked about history and military, debating on the successes and failures of the strategies of the Allies and the Axis in World War II. I was especially fond of our constant conversations about philosophy and religion. Though we had many different opinions on social ideals and social progress, arguing the meaning of the meaningless life, we agreed on the purpose of life is to enjoy so many wonderful things in this world.

  

We both believed in no specific regions, but your beliefs built through meditations on life and the universe were in agreement with those ancient great ideas, such as “This body itself is emptiness and emptiness itself is this Body… All phenomena bear the mark of emptiness” in Buddhism, and “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind” in Christianity. You told me that the endless joys due to accomplishments, relentlessly overcoming our weakness, and reaching and going beyond our physical and spiritual limits were the only means to fill the emptiness in life, though it was not necessary. You believed that all our lives would be reborn, either in another form or in another universe, far, far away.

  

After 20 years, I have read and learned so much on physics, literature, history, philosophy, and religion, I have gone through a great deal of success, failure, love, family life, and struggles. But we cannot talk together any more.

  

How I want to talk with you!

  

I will always miss you, my friend. You will never become old, full of energy and youth forever, sailing with your dreams, passions, loves, and freedom, in the sky as blue as Lake Mendota.

  

May you rest in peace, as memory and the legend of you live on and on.

  

Finally, let me read a beautiful poem for you written by a friend of mine:

  

The Tragedy

  

By Xie Chang’An

  

I was late.

  

I only saw a piece of dry larva of a longhorn beetle on the Begonia flowers,

Skins of cicadas on pagoda trees, and the clothes of butterflies under garden balsams.

Last night a person was gone and his house became empty.

From a spotted volute was flowing the music of an ancient xun.

Near the lake bank lay a mayfly, whose face was as white as wild rice, with an indistinct expression.

It had no patience to wait, just left.

  

The surface of the lake was calm.

The fateful coincidences I missed lead to the same amount of melancholy in my heart.

  

Among the sprinkled wine,

Star light was scattered like flying snowflakes.

The space is vast and complicated.

Who sighed in a corner lonely?

And the time made your eyes blind,

Just like the deep night outside the window.

I heard the birds were crying,

But could not catch a sight of a single feather.

  

我的悼词:

  

我仍然清楚地记得最后一次见到陈昱。那是正好二十年前,1997年六月24日,当我从家乡到北京去申请赴美签证。那是我们在北大读核物理硕士研究生的第二年末尾,本科班大约有一半同学已经或将在那个夏季到美国。那天下午接近傍晚,陈昱以及另外两位同学到一个距离加速器楼不远的车站送我。当汽车开来,我和他们道别,相约“美国再见”。

  

20年后,我终于见到了你,我的朋友和大学同班同学陈昱,在美国。

  

但我们不能像从前那样在一起抽烟了。那时你会表演吐完美烟圈的技术,哪些烟圈像极了未名湖里的月亮。风已经吹毁了水里的月亮和你的烟圈,在很久很久以前。

  

我们不能像从前那样在一起喝啤酒、红酒和烈酒了。即使酩酊大醉,你依然可以全不走调地演唱《花祭》和《远航》。你的歌声穿越了时间的壁垒,它将我们的现在和过去隔离,那我们因为美梦和激情而沉醉的往昔。

  

我们不再能够一起跑步了。你总想赛过时间的速度,精力充沛,青春洋溢,完成每件事情都像在燕园每天清晨或夜晚跑步那般轻松、自如和迅捷。

  

我们不再能够一起举重了。在那个离未名湖不太远的健身房里,我们流下多少汗水、欢笑和噪音!你总是力图突破自己的记录,不停地测试和接近你身体和精神的极限。我相信你最终已经抵达。

  

但我最最遗憾的是我们不再能够一起畅谈。我们一起不仅讨论过数学、物理的作业问题,而且还有确定性的混沌,超对称的存在,和统一所有事物的理论。我们谈论过在生命最璀璨部分经历的爱情、激情和泪水。你的故事就像那些我们读过和谈论过的一些经典小说那样感人。在我的记忆里,你特别喜欢伏尼契的小说《牛虻》里这一小段诗:

  

不管我活着

还是我死去

我都是一只

快乐的牛虻!

  

我们还谈论过历史和军事,争论二战中盟军和轴心国的战略决策的成败得失。我尤其喜爱我们经常关于哲学和信仰的交谈。虽然我们对于社会理念和社会发展有诸多不同的看法,争辩过没有意义的生命的意义,我们认同生命的目的是尽享这个世界里无数精彩纷呈的事物。

  

我们都不信仰任何具体的宗教,但你通过对生命、宇宙的沉思而得到的信念与许多古老而伟大的思想不谋而合,比如佛教的“色不异空,空不异色……诸法空相”,基督教的“我见日光之下所作的一切事,都是虚空,都是捕风”。你对我说唯有事业成就的无尽欢乐,孜孜不倦地克服自身的缺陷弱点,以及达到和超越身体和精神的极限,才可以填补生命的空虚,虽然并无必要。你认为我们所有的生命,都将以另外一种形式或在另外一个遥远而又遥远的宇宙里重生。

  

20年后,我阅读和学习了许多物理、文学、历史、哲学和信仰,我经历了成功、失败、爱情、家庭生活,以及奋斗挣扎。但我们不能再一起畅谈了。

  

我多么想和你畅谈!

  

我将总会怀念你,我的朋友。你将不会衰老,永远精力充沛、青春洋溢,带着梦想、激情,博爱,以及自由,扬帆于跟梦到她湖一样蔚蓝的天空。

  

请安息,而你的回忆和传奇将会永生。

  

最后,我朗读一首我的一位朋友写给你的诗:

  

《悲剧》

  

作者:谢长安

  

我来晚了

  

只看见海棠花间一粒干枯的蝤蛴

只看见国槐上的蝉蜕,凤仙下的蝶衣

人去楼空发生在昨夜

从斑斑蜗壳流出古老的埙曲

而水滨一只蜉蝣面如茭白,神色苍茫

它等不及了,刚刚离去

  

湖面波平浪静

我错过多少缘分便生出几多忧郁

  

酹酒之间

星光散作大雪飞絮

那空间庞然繁复

谁在一个角落里空自叹息

而时间令人眼盲

就如深夜窗外

我听见众鸟哭泣

却不能看见其中任何一羽



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