--- 爱语焦点实践---

在家庭中，夫妻关系的融洽往往不是一个人的事儿。即便是相处多年的两个人，一个人的举动，在另外一个人眼中看来，也许还会有其他的理解方式。焦点解决教练的问句会充分的利用两个人乃至家庭中老人、孩子的相互影响，让问句的作用发挥最大的效果。

---目标的建立---

705. What is your common goal?

你们共同的目标是什么？

723. Suppose you did have a common goal. What might that goal look like?

假设你们确实有一个共同的目标。那会是什么？

★ 这两句是非常明确的直指目标的问句，而且我们也注意到了，在家庭中，是夫妻两个人共同的目标，不仅仅是一个人的目标。

706. How is that a problem for each of you?

那个问题对你们每个人来说都构成问题吗？

707. What do the two of you want to see instead of the problem?

有什么可以替代那个问题的，是你们两个想要看到的?

722. Who was the first to think that you should seek help, and what gave him or her that idea?

是谁首先想到您应该寻求帮助的？是什么让他或她有这种想法的？

740. How is the other person’s problem a problem for you?

对方的问题对您来说算是个问题吗？

741. How do you explain that problem to yourself or to the other person? How can that help you?

您如何向您自己或对方解释这个问题？这对您有什么帮助？

742. Suppose the other person were able to tell me what has happened or what has caused this problem. How might that help him or her?

假设另外那个人能告知我发生了什么，或者是什么导致这一问题发生的。这可能对他或她有什么帮助？

★ 上面这几句，是从问题出发，其作用是要找到隐藏在问题背后的期待和目标，以及可能会带出的资源，让两个人对同一事件达成共识，指向的是未来。

708. How would the two of you like your relationship to be different?

你们俩想让你们的关系发生怎样的变化？

709. What kind of relationship would you like to have?

你们想拥有什么样的关系？

710. What difference would that make for each of you?

这会让你们每个人发生什么变化？

724. Where do you want to be together in 5 or 10 years? What do you want things to look like then?

未来5年或10年你们想一起待在哪里？那时你们希望事情变成什么样子？

725. What would your children like your relationship to look like in the future?

你们的孩子希望未来你们的关系变成什么样？

734. What positive expectations did you have about the relationship that have been realized?

你们对过去已经实现的关系有什么积极的期望？

736. What else do you both think needs to happen?

还有什么事情是你们两个人都认为有必要发生的？

737. How will your lives change if that happens more often in the coming weeks?

如果那件事在未来的几周频繁发生，你们的生活会发生怎样的变化？

743. What will indicate to you that things are going a little better for the other person, knowing him or her as you do?

能向您表明对于另外那个人来说情况正在有所好转的事情是什么？

744. What difference will it make between you and the other person when things are going somewhat better?

情况有所好转会让您和对方之间发生什么改变？

745. What difference will it make for the other person’s relationships with the people around him or her when things are going somewhat better?

情况有所好转会让另外那个人和他或她周围的人之间的关系发生什么改变？

★ 这几个问句大家很熟悉了，用来探索和形成目标的问句，利用了未来时间和重要人物---孩子的元素。我们以前会用到的一句类似的基本问句，什么是你们想要的？

---描述愿景---

717. What would your idea relationship look like?

你们理想中的你们之间的关系是什么样的？

749. On a scale of 10 to 0, how would you rate the current situation?

依照从10到0的尺度衡量，你们如何评定目前的状况？

750. At what number would you like to end up so that you will both be satisfied with the end of the relationship?

你们想要最终达到哪个数字所代表的状态，以便让彼此都对结局满意？

★ 对理想生活的具体状态的描述，建立细节化，视觉化，图像化的生活场景，让愿景看着有真实存在的痕迹。

746. How can you end your relationship in as positive a way as possible for you both?

你们如何以对你们来说都尽可能积极的方式结束你们的关系？

747. How can you end your relationship in as positive a way as possible for the children?

你们如何以对你们的孩子来说尽可能积极的方式结束你们的关系？

748. What would the ideal termination of your relationship look like?

你们最理想的结局是什么样的？

★ 这三句是放在一个情境中说的，让结束关系也尽可能的积极，对彼此和孩子有正面的引导作用。

760. Suppose you woke up in “Parent Land” tomorrow morning, where all parents are highly valued and all children are always on their best behavior. What would you see those parents doing for themselves and their children that makes them so happy?

假设明天早上您在“父母之国”中醒来，在那里，所有的父母都受到高度重视，所有孩子都举止得体。您会看到这些父母们正在为自己和他们的孩子们做什么事，让他们得以如此幸福的生活？

728. How would your children notice that you’d reached your preferred future (to a sufficient degree)?

你们的孩子怎么能注意到你们已经争取到了你们想要的未来（已达到了足够的程度）？

775. Suppose your child did all the things you would like him or her to do. How would he or she say you treat him or her differently?

假设您的孩子做了您想让他或她做的所有的事情。他或她会认为您将以怎样的不同的方式来对待他或她？

★ 假如结构，是一个奇迹问句，从父母的角度，孩子的角度去观察和描绘那些会发生的迹象，和彼此带来的关系作用，互相发酵。

待续：敬请期待下期例外资源和一小步行动的问句。

学习、练习、实践、反思、督导，是一个SF取向工作者的快速成长之路。敬请期待下期分享。