Reaching out across the Web .. ...分享 http://blog.sciencenet.cn/u/zuojun Zuojun Yu, physical oceanographer, freelance English editor

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科技英语写作基础(系列):分析abstract on aerosol

已有 596 次阅读 2019-6-12 09:38 |个人分类:Scientific Writing|系统分类:论文交流| 科技英语写作

The goal is to learn how to write better.

分析的目的是为了提高科技英语写作水平,不是针对作者。

 

The Role of Aerosol in Climate Change, the Environment, and Human Health

 

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/16742834.2012.11446983

 

Abstract

Green highlight is used to show good writing

好好学习:用绿色标出。


Yellow means "questionable."

黄色=“?”

 

Aerosol is an important component of the atmosphere, and its source, composition, distribution, and effects are highly complicated. 

Comment: Could be split into two sentences, especially when the subjects are not the same.

评论:应该用两句话来表述,因为他们的主语不同。

Governments and scientists have given much attention to aerosol problems, and it  has become a hot topic due to the important role it plays in climate change and the Earth's environment. 

Comment: Could be split into two sentences, especially when the subjects are not the same.

评论:应该用两句话来表述,因为他们的主语不同。

In this paper, 1) the importance of aerosol in climate change, the atmospheric environment, and human health is summarized; 

2) the recent serious problems of aerosol pollution and the shortage of current aerosol research in China are pointed out; and 

3) the necessity to enhance aerosol research in China is emphasized.

Comment: Definitely could be written in three sentences.

评论:可以用三句话来表述。

Note: Overall speaking, the abstract is easy to understand. However, the writing could be improved.

 

最后,弱弱地感叹:唉,有点像我的一个会议摘要,笼笼统统的,没有“肉”。因为我当时还没有好的结果。


Follow me, if you want to improve your writing skill:

如果你想提高科技英语写作能力,请跟我来...

http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-306792-1146690.html



http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-306792-1184490.html

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