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American Youth on College Life (8)
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This is eighth in a series of un-edited articles written by my grandson on US college life:
Today, I am going to address that most crucial issue of college life, the roommate. Most people in college will have a roommate, they may have several roommates depending on how the dorms are laid out. For example, freshman year, I lived in a room with one other person. Sophomore year, I lived in a room that entered into a common room around which 2 other rooms were situated. At 2 people per room, there were 6 of us, sharing a common kitchen, showers, and bathroom. Some colleges offer “singles” which are rooms for only one person, but chances are you will end up living with someone else.
This advice, like all of my advice, comes only from my limited perspective, my experience so far. I have been blessed both years, with fantastic roommates, with whom I had very few problems. These are tips are designed to help you have a good living experience with your roommate. They are not universal solutions. It may be that you find yourself with a person you just absolutely cannot get along with, despite all your best efforts. If that happens, see if you can switch rooms. Talk to your floor advisor or RA. They can often help you in this regard. The most important factor in deciding your experience with a roommate will be you. Keep that in mind.
So first off. The roommate. This may be the first time you are living in the same room with another person. That will undoubtedly take some getting used to. You should remember that your roommate is an entirely different person than you. They have their own habits, their own customs, and their own culture. Some of these may conflict with your own traits. But you should make an effort to get to know them, after all, you will be living together for a whole year. Don’t try to ignore them. You won’t be able to. You do not have to become their closest friend either. What we are aiming for here is a friend who you can live with, something akin to a good neighbor.
A good idea is to usually set some ground rules. Get to know your roommate and then discuss how you will be living together. The college I was at actually had roommates fill out a form, agreeing on certain things. What time you usually sleep. How loudly you can play your music. How clean the two of you will keep your room. Decide what things you will share if any. My roommate brought a microwave, I brought a water filter. We used both. These should not be ironclad rules set in stone, but more like guidelines. However, just having a basic set of ideas goes a long way towards avoiding potential conflicts.
You will have to compromise. It will take some getting used to. The room you live in is not just your own, you will be sharing it with another person. That’s why it is so important to talk to your roommate to agree on some basic principles. I am not saying you have to let the other person walk all over you. But be flexible. Here is an example. Freshman year, I was in the room, studying. My roommate walked in with a girl and said “Dan, I’m gonna need the room for a while. Is that OK?” I did not need to be in the room to study. I took my study materials to the common room, and studied there. It cost me nothing, and in fact, strengthened our relationship. The next time, I needed a favor, my roommate would be more willing to help me, since I helped him. Things like that will happen. If you can, try to be cooperative. If you can’t, talk it over.
So in summary, let us make a list of some of the main points.
1.) Your roommate is a different person than you. There may be conflicts. That is to be expected, not feared.
2.) . Be willing and able to talk things out, instead of getting angry or trying to ignore the problem. Address issues, but do not be confrontational about it.
3.) Set some basic guidelines with your roommate on things like when you will turn off the lights, what things you will share, how clean you will keep the room.
4.) If it is not a huge inconvenience to you, do it. Flexibility is key to any relationship
5.) Be willing and able to talk things out. You may note that I have already listed this. That’s because it is very important. In fact, I’m going to list it again.
6.) Be willing and able to talk things out. A large part of whether you get along with your roommate or not depends on you.
https://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-1565-309589.html
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