劳动，本来专指体力劳动，现在也包括脑力劳动了。脑力劳动也很辛苦哦。劳动节期间，我贡献一点脑力劳动成果吧――翻译几条美国作家马克吐温的解颐妙语。

宁愿闭嘴不说话，貌似痴傻，也别一开口将愚蠢暴露于天下。

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
 

阅读保健类书籍要小心。印错一个字也许就要你的命。

Giving up smoking is  easy.   I've done it many times.

 戒烟很容易。我已经戒了很多回了。

I have traveled more than any one else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.

（论口音）：我跑过的地方比谁都多，我发现，即使天使讲的英语都是带口音的。

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between a lightning-bug and lightning.

 几乎合适的词和完全合适的词之间有天壤之别――这简直是萤火虫（lightning-bug）和闪电（lightning）之间的差别。

 Only presidents, editors and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".

（论有人喜欢用第一人称复数来表示个人看法）：只有总统、编辑和肚子里有绦虫的人才有资格使用社论口气的“我们”。

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. (博主说明：上面这句话的表达方式与我当时据以翻译的那句话不完全一样，但意思是差不多的。)
 

（论老生常谈）世界上只有亚当能做到：说出一句漂亮话且确信在此之前没有其他人说过类似的话。

 Definition of a classic -- something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

所谓经典作品，就是人人都希望自己读过、但没人想读的东西。

A person who does not read good books has no advantage over one who can't read.
有好书不读的人与不识字无法读书的人相比，并无优势。